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Wedding registries--the latest?

Jillsifer's picture

I know there's a range of opinions out there about wedding registries--some love them dearly and some hate them with a passion--but I'm wondering about the prevailing climate among TODAY'S brides and grooms--are lots of to-be-weds still using them? Are engaged couples registering at more than one place? Do people's feelings get hurt if a gift comes from other than the registry store? When I was married a million years ago, at least in this community, a couple registered at one or maybe two stores and it was the maid/matron of honor's job to share that information with anyone who asked--but only if they asked.


I sense that things have changed, and I have a rash of weddings coming up for which I'll probably want to send gifts. Sooooo . . . what's the deal nowadays? Maybe our resident engaged woman can give me a few pointers--Tracy, are you out there? What's the scoop on registries these days? Anybody else recently married or in-law-ed?


 



Christmas is the season for kindling the fire of hospitality in the hall, the genial flame of charity in the heart.


-- Washington Irving

Christmas is the season for kindling the fire of hospitality in the hall, the genial flame of charity in the heart.

-- Washington Irving

MadMom's picture

(post #53532, reply #1 of 21)

Let's see.  When I was married, we just pinned a list on the nearest dinosaur and hoped our friends would see it.  In other words, can't help with modern traditions!



Not One More Day!
Not One More Dime! Not One More Life! Not One More Lie!

End the Occupation of Iraq -- Bring the Troops Home Now!

And Take Care of Them When They Get Here!

Jean's picture

(post #53532, reply #2 of 21)

DGD is registered only at BB&B, it's a very modest list too, seeing it will cost a bundle for travel and lodging for her guests.


A  clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
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A  clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com/
help to provide free mammograms for women in need
shipscook's picture

(post #53532, reply #3 of 21)

I like them. Our nicest shop here puts in their weekly newspaper ad, the couples registered there. With the other  shop or two, word gets around.


If I really know the couple I may have an idea of what they need or want. But often now, the bride and/or groom are children of very dear friends and the guide is helpful.


Happy Holidays,


Nan

TracyK's picture

(post #53532, reply #4 of 21)

Most folks are still registering, but it is NOT appropriate to include registry information with the wedding invitations.

A lot of couples (myself included!) are putting registry info on their wedding websites (if they have them), on the page that gives all the pertinent information for guests (times, dates, maps, etc), in addition to counting on people asking the family where they are registered.

Two to three stores seems to be pretty much the norm, I have yet to run across any reasonable person who would be anything but delighted to receive ANY gift, regardless of its provenance.

IMNSHO, a registry is a convenience for both couple (so they don't end up with 100 crystal vases) and guests (who can choose from the registry and therefore not have to think about it much), but it's just a suggestion.

The registry issue continues to be a troublesome point for me and my betrothed... we are having a hard time finding items to put on the darn thing! But we'll probably finalize it in the next week or so.


We are all in the same boat, you and me and ex-Gov. Palin and Rep. Joe Wilson, and wealth and social status do not prevail against disease and injury. And now we must reform our health insurance system so that it reflects our common humanity. It is not decent that people avoid seeking help for want of insurance. It is not decent that people go broke trying to get well. You know it and I know it. Time to fix it.

                                                            -- Garrison Keillor

Jillsifer's picture

(post #53532, reply #5 of 21)

Two to three stores seems to be pretty much the norm, I have yet to run across any reasonable person who would be anything but delighted to receive ANY gift, regardless of its provenance.


That's interesting--I think former husband and I registered at two stores. One was Crate and Barrel and the other was a now-Macyfied regional department store.


Have you and your beloved decided where you'll register yet?



Christmas is the season for kindling the fire of hospitality in the hall, the genial flame of charity in the heart.


-- Washington Irving

Christmas is the season for kindling the fire of hospitality in the hall, the genial flame of charity in the heart.

-- Washington Irving

TracyK's picture

(post #53532, reply #7 of 21)

Heh... as it turns out, Crate & Barrel and Macy's! :) Also Amazon. I don't think whatever it is I need to do to make them public, though.


It's a bit of a sore point because Tony second-guesses everything I add (grrrr), complains that HE hasn't chosen any of the items (double-grrr) and that none of them are "cool and fun things", and then has literally no suggestions when I ask him what "cool and fun things" HE wants to register for (aaaargh!). He's really being quite a guy about the whole thing. :P


Fortunately, he's wonderful about everything else, so I can cut him some slack in this regard. :) I've found that it's easier if I just go add things myself, and he gets veto power (sometimes).



We are all in the same boat, you and me and ex-Gov. Palin and Rep. Joe Wilson, and wealth and social status do not prevail against disease and injury. And now we must reform our health insurance system so that it reflects our common humanity. It is not decent that people avoid seeking help for want of insurance. It is not decent that people go broke trying to get well. You know it and I know it. Time to fix it.

                                                            -- Garrison Keillor

Jillsifer's picture

(post #53532, reply #8 of 21)

Awwww, poor kid. {{{{{Tracy}}}}}


One day, when you're both a pair of toothless old geezers, you'll look back on these small frustrations and laugh.


But I do feel for your immediate . . . uhhhh . . . chagrin?



Christmas is the season for kindling the fire of hospitality in the hall, the genial flame of charity in the heart.


-- Washington Irving

Christmas is the season for kindling the fire of hospitality in the hall, the genial flame of charity in the heart.

-- Washington Irving

TracyK's picture

(post #53532, reply #9 of 21)

It's a really stupid thing, I know!



We are all in the same boat, you and me and ex-Gov. Palin and Rep. Joe Wilson, and wealth and social status do not prevail against disease and injury. And now we must reform our health insurance system so that it reflects our common humanity. It is not decent that people avoid seeking help for want of insurance. It is not decent that people go broke trying to get well. You know it and I know it. Time to fix it.

                                                            -- Garrison Keillor

leonap's picture

(post #53532, reply #16 of 21)

You reminded me that DS and DDIL actually put some Wii games on their registry. I kid you not. I was a little embarrassed by it, but whadda' ya gonna' do? They were like you and Tony having a hard time trying to decide what to put on their registries.

TracyK's picture

(post #53532, reply #18 of 21)

Heh. :) But not, in point of fact, all that much different than the folks who register at sporting goods stores and the like.


It is tricky, with us both being in our 30s and having lived on our own for a while. Maybe if I wasn't such an enthusiastic cook, I would have "made do" with less stuff or lower-end stuff, but I already have a lot of the things that brides in their 20s register for (the KitchenAid mixer, Cuisinart FP, etc).


Also, we aren't going for china, silver, or crystal... I have plain white dishes that I like a lot (they were from Target), if I were to register for new dishes they'd probably look almost exactly the same, and that just seems silly and wasteful. I have stainless flatware that I like and I don't have to polish, and a set of wineglasses that I don't fear breaking. I neither need nor have room to store more!



We are all in the same boat, you and me and ex-Gov. Palin and Rep. Joe Wilson, and wealth and social status do not prevail against disease and injury. And now we must reform our health insurance system so that it reflects our common humanity. It is not decent that people avoid seeking help for want of insurance. It is not decent that people go broke trying to get well. You know it and I know it. Time to fix it.

                                                            -- Garrison Keillor

madnoodle's picture

(post #53532, reply #19 of 21)

The last three weddings I've been to have all been folks in their late 30's/early 40's who have plenty of "stuff".  They all suggested charitable donations in lieu of gifts, which I thought was rather nice.

What if there were no hypothetical questions?


 

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

 

wonka's picture

(post #53532, reply #20 of 21)

We found ourselves in the same boat as you. We were in our 30's, we both had everything we wanted.

We told people that gifts were optional, but if they insisted we gave them the name of a couple of stores that we liked (and suggested gift cards) and we joking said that cold hard cash if they insisted, lol.

One of my cousins froze 20 loonies in a yogurt container and gave it to us for our wedding gift. It definitely was cold hard cash.

Canuck's picture

(post #53532, reply #10 of 21)

I've found that it's easier if I just go add things myself, and he gets veto power (sometimes).>


DH pointed out in his groom's speech that he gets to make the major decisions and I make the minor ones. Of course, we hadn't come across any major decisions yet... [and we still haven't] LOL.


 

MadMom's picture

(post #53532, reply #11 of 21)

The old joke is that major decisions are things like "should the US stay in the UN?  should we end world hunger?", etc., while the minor decisions are things like where to live, etc.



Not One More Day!
Not One More Dime! Not One More Life! Not One More Lie!

End the Occupation of Iraq -- Bring the Troops Home Now!

And Take Care of Them When They Get Here!

Canuck's picture

(post #53532, reply #13 of 21)

Aha. Well, when someone asks us about the US role in the UN, I'll let DH take that one :)

TracyK's picture

(post #53532, reply #14 of 21)

Hee! :)


We are all in the same boat, you and me and ex-Gov. Palin and Rep. Joe Wilson, and wealth and social status do not prevail against disease and injury. And now we must reform our health insurance system so that it reflects our common humanity. It is not decent that people avoid seeking help for want of insurance. It is not decent that people go broke trying to get well. You know it and I know it. Time to fix it.

                                                            -- Garrison Keillor

Heather's picture

(post #53532, reply #17 of 21)

We went to a wedding in October, we've known the bride since birth and the groom for 10 years so we heard a lot of the back chatter. The groom was feeling a little miffed since the bride was choosing everything on the C&B, WS, etc. registries. So they registered at REI where got to pick some great things--and they received everything on the list.

And we don't talk about the wedding we were invited to in the summer where the couple requested cash for the honeymoon.

AnnL's picture

(post #53532, reply #6 of 21)

My neice just married last summer.  They were registered at BB&B and Macy's.  The registry information came in the invitations to the Bridal Shower.  It was great because I went online and I could see what had been bought already at both stores, so I was easily able to figure out what had not been purchased for them already and ordered a bunch of kitchen stuff for them right online. Never had to leave the house!  :-)


Ann
"The elders were wise.  They knew that man's heart, away from nature, becomes hard; they knew that lack of respect for growing, living things, soon led to lack of respect for humans, too."  Chief Luther Standing Bear, Lakota Sioux

Ann
"The elders were wise.  They knew that man's heart, away from nature, becomes hard; they knew that lack of respect for growing, living things, soon led to lack of respect for humans, too."  Chief Luther Standing Bear, Lakota Sioux

Gretchen's picture

(post #53532, reply #12 of 21)

Our kids registered at a number of places. No, no hurt feelings if the gift doesn't come from one of the "places" or even if it wasn't on the list. With some, I did have to wonder "what were they thinkin'!".


LOTS of exchanges after the wedding to amalgamate settings, etc.


Gretchen
Gretchen
hcookie's picture

(post #53532, reply #15 of 21)

My second eldest grandnephew was married in October.  They registered at BB&B and Kohl's.  I used the registry for the bridal shower but gave them money for the wedding. 

Gretchen's picture

In the South for large (post #53532, reply #21 of 21)

In the South for large weddings it is also very common to display the wedding gifts--in a nice arrangement, of course. When some of DD's friends came by to see what she had gotten she said to them "No shopping!".

Gretchen