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Warning religious post

Ozark's picture


An atheist was walking through the woods.


"What majestic trees"!


"What powerful rivers"!


"What beautiful animals"!


He said to himself.


As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly charge towards him.


He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him.


He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer.


He tripped & fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him. At that instant the Atheist cried out, "Oh my God!


Time Stopped.


The bear froze.


The forest was silent.


As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky.


"You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I do not exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident."


"Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament?


Am I to count you as a believer"?


The atheist looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian"?


"Very Well," said the voice.


The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:


Lord, bless this food which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen.


 


 


 


 


"Good judgement comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgement"


 

Growing old is inevitable, growing up is optional!

Jean's picture

(post #47880, reply #1 of 8)

Snort!!! Glad I didn't have a mouthful of coffee!



Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com/

A  clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com/
help to provide free mammograms for women in need
Glenys's picture

(post #47880, reply #2 of 8)

Grizzlies don't eat people so I guess in the realm of belief or disbelief, it's all relative.

Jean's picture

(post #47880, reply #3 of 8)

But occasionally they do...


"German filmmaker Werner Herzog talks about Grizzly Man, a documentary about actor Timothy Treadwell, who spent 13 years with Alaska's grizzly bears. Treadwell and his girlfriend were killed and eaten in 2003. Herzog uses Treadwell's video to help tell a story of man and nature" (Italics mine)




Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com/

A  clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com/
help to provide free mammograms for women in need
Glenys's picture

(post #47880, reply #4 of 8)

That's exactly what I mean. Finally, after being annoyed by that nutbar forever, the grizz had to take drastic action. Smart they are, since most offenders have no idea what to do with the body after the fact. Probably gave the grizz indigestion.


Edited 5/29/2007 11:47 am by Glenys

Jean's picture

(post #47880, reply #5 of 8)

Back to regularly scheduled joke.  It's still funny.



Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com/

A  clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com/
help to provide free mammograms for women in need
Ozark's picture

(post #47880, reply #6 of 8)

Thank you, that is the way I intended people to take it.

"Good judgement comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgement"


 

Growing old is inevitable, growing up is optional!

Glenys's picture

(post #47880, reply #7 of 8)

I know, I know.  Men still dress as women and get a laugh so why not have grizzlies eating men?  Sorry to digress.  Grizzlies get a bad rap and men with bad fashion sense, what can you do?


Edited 5/29/2007 1:15 pm by Glenys

Rhea's picture

(post #47880, reply #8 of 8)

LOL!!!

I can't even afford the lifestyle I don't want...

I can't even afford the lifestyle I don't want...