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Something to offend everyone

MadMom's picture

Thought this was cute, although when I left Texas, I think our motto was "Thank God for Mississippi":


KNOW YOUR STATE MOTTO..........

 

Alabama

Hell Yes, We Have Electricity.

 

Alaska

11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!

 

Arizona

Yes, But It's A Dry Heat.

 

Arkansas

Lituracy Ain't Everythang.

 

California

By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda.

 

Colorado

If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother.

 

Connecticut

Like Massachusetts, only smaller.

 

Delaware

We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water.

 

Florida

Ask Us About Our Grandkids

And Our Voting Skills.

 

Georgia

We Put The Fun In Fundamentalist Extremism.

 

Hawaii

Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru

(Death To Mainland Scum,Leave Your Money)

 

Idaho

More Than Just Potatoes...

Well, Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good

 

Illinois

Please, Don't Pronounce the "S"

 

Indiana

2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free

 

Iowa

We Do Amazing Things With Corn

 

Kansas

First Of The Rectangle States

 

Kentucky

Five Million People;  Fifteen Last Names

 

Louisiana

We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign.

 

Maine

We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster

 

Maryland

If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It

 

Massachusetts

Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's And Our Senators Are More Corrupt!

 

Michigan

First Line Of Defense From The Canadians

 

Minnesota

10,000 Lakes... And 10 Zillion Mosquitoes

 

Mississippi

Come visit And Feel Better About Your Own State

 

Missouri

Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work

 

Montana

Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-wing Crazies, and Honest

Elections!

 

Nebraska

Ask About Our State Motto Contest

 

Nevada

Hookers and Poker!

 

New Hampshire

Go Away And Leave Us Alone

 

New Jersey

You Want A ##$%##! Motto?

I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right here!

 

New Mexico

Lizards Make Excellent Pets

 

New York

You Have The Right To Remain Silent,

You Have The Right To An Attorney...

And No Right To Self Defense!

 

North Carolina

Tobacco Is A Vegetable

 

North Dakota

We Really Are One Of The 50 States!

 

Ohio

At Least We're Not Michigan

 

Oklahoma

Like The Play, But No Singing

 

Oregon

Spotted Owl... It's What's For Dinner

 

Pennsylvania

Cook With Coal

 

Rhode Island

We're Not REALLY An Island

 

South Carolina

Remember The Civil War?

Well, We Didn't Actually Surrender Yet

 

South Dakota

Closer Than North Dakota

 

Tennessee

Home of the Al Gore Invention Museum.

 

Texas

Se Hable Ingles

 

Utah

Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus

 

Vermont

Too liberal for the Kennedys

 

Virginia

Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?

 

Washington

Our Governor can out-fraud your Governor!

 

West Virginia

One Big Happy Family...Really!

 

Wisconsin

Come Cut the Cheese!

 

Wyoming

Where Men Are Men... And The Sheep Are Scared

  Home of  Brokeback Mtn.

      

The District of Columbia

  The Work-Free Drug Place!



Not One More Day!
Not One More Dime! Not One More Life! Not One More Lie!

End the Occupation of Iraq -- Bring the Troops Home Now!

And Take Care of Them When They Get Here!
Biscuit's picture

(post #46356, reply #1 of 22)

ROFLMAO!!!!!  OMG - I don't care.  Maybe not politically correct, but soooooooooo FUNNY!

Save the Cheerleader.  Save the World.

"When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty."  - George Bernard Shaw

samchang's picture

(post #46356, reply #2 of 22)

I thought California's was "Where our 55 electoral college votes never get to count!"

A bit of Hawaiiana: there are 10 vowels and 8 consonants. R and T are not in the language. Niether is the SH sound. But that sure ought to be the state motto!

marie-louise's picture

(post #46356, reply #6 of 22)

I didn't think California's was funny (in comparison to some of the others, which are hysterical.) Something about all the nuts rolling to the left would have been funnier.

MadMom's picture

(post #46356, reply #7 of 22)

Oh yes, I can remember when the joke was that the country tilted that way, and all the fruits and nuts ended up in California.  There are some I thought could have been better, but on the whole, I thought it was cute. 



Not One More Day!
Not One More Dime! Not One More Life! Not One More Lie!

End the Occupation of Iraq -- Bring the Troops Home Now!

And Take Care of Them When They Get Here!

marie-louise's picture

(post #46356, reply #8 of 22)

Don't get me wrong, I loved it. It's just that there are so many things to make fun of about California-I'm the first to admit it-that plastic surgery seemed too far down the list. (Unless you live in LA, I guess!!!)

Which reminds me, do you love the Republican campaign phrase, "Nancy Pelosi & her San Francisco values." Exactly what is THAT supposed to mean, anyway?

Heather's picture

(post #46356, reply #9 of 22)

I've heard that all the people who live there are gay.

Biscuit's picture

(post #46356, reply #10 of 22)

Oh, I'm sure you can guess.  I believe it means she's a loony, scantily-clad, homosexual-loving, free-love advocating, pot-smoking, tree-loving, Janis-Joplin listening left-wing DE-MO-CRAT.  Oh, yea, and - don't forget (lowers voice to a whisper) - she's one of them women - and you know how they get once a month - he!


At least, that's what they are implying.  Face it - they are desperate.  And their desperation, fear and sweat is just oozing out of ever commercial I see.


I wish this election were over. 


Save the Cheerleader.  Save the World.


Edited 10/27/2006 8:52 pm ET by Biscuit

"When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty."  - George Bernard Shaw

marie-louise's picture

(post #46356, reply #11 of 22)

LOL, I think that about covers it. And I think, although I'm not sure, she's Jewish (Dianne Feinstein & Barbara Boxer both are.)

Personally, I'm rather enjoying this election. When the best you've got is sending Rumsfield out there to explain things & ending up telling the reporters to "back off..." At least he didn't tell them to shove it.

I do still like Arnold, though.

PS Is that your state where her opponent is accusing the Iraq vet who lost both legs of being in favor of cutting-and-running? That comment boggles the imagination.

MadMom's picture

(post #46356, reply #12 of 22)

You've got to handle it to the Reps - who else would accuse a double amputee veteran of wanting to "cut and run"?  Geesh.  BTW, I happened to hear Nancy Pelosi on an interview the other day and found out several interesting things.  First, she has a brain.  Second, she doesn't have horns.  Third, I think she would make a great Speaker of the House...hope she gets the chance!


Biscuit, you forgot the big L word...she's a LIBERAL, and you know how they are.




Not One More Day!
Not One More Dime! Not One More Life! Not One More Lie!

End the Occupation of Iraq -- Bring the Troops Home Now!

And Take Care of Them When They Get Here!
Biscuit's picture

(post #46356, reply #14 of 22)

Welllllll - I said she was a De-mo-crat!  Democrat/Liberal - same thing.  Right?


Sorry - I'm tired - and I'm tired of the election already.  And my house is a wreck and I'm feeling kinda ******y. 


And I wanted to smack Rumsfeld (so what else is new?) for that crack he made - not the part about "back off" which to me is classic Rumsfeld.  But the "You have to understand this is complicated".  The way he said that several times was the way a parent would say to a child "it's too complicated to explain".  In other words - the reporters and the public are too stupid to understand what is REALLY going on. 


What an @.  I'm sure we could all wrap our feeble, ill-educated minds around most of it, Mr. Rumsfeld.  Let's give "full-disclosure" a try, shall we?  Or - do you not want to explain the "complicated" plan because maybe - hmmm - maybe you just don't HAVE a plan???? 


Twerp.  Arrogant jerk.


Save the Cheerleader.  Save the World.

"When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty."  - George Bernard Shaw

MadMom's picture

(post #46356, reply #17 of 22)

I hear you about wanting the election to be over.  I have volunteered to make calls to likely voters in contested districts, and we were told in advance to expect a lot of answering machines and hangups.  I've had some rude people, but also several people who have just said they've received too many calls about the election...these I put on our "do not call" list.  I just want everyone to vote.  BTW, most of my calls have been to Ohio...good thing I have unlimited long distance, LOL.



Not One More Day!
Not One More Dime! Not One More Life! Not One More Lie!

End the Occupation of Iraq -- Bring the Troops Home Now!

And Take Care of Them When They Get Here!

marie-louise's picture

(post #46356, reply #18 of 22)

I made calls for Kerry. It was more fun that I thought-kinda like chattin' on the Internet w/ people you've never met.

Biscuit's picture

(post #46356, reply #13 of 22)

(Gasp!)  JEWISH!  And she's a woman?!  AND from San Francisco?!  AND a liberal???!!!Well, that's that - definitely unfit for any sort of political leadership position. 


****


My state.  No, I don't think that's mine, unless its in a district other than mine.  I have the state where (a) our congressman was just indicted under the Abramoff scandel; and (b) the only challenger we have to Weirdo Dennis Kucinich (bleh!) is someone even weirder than he is, hard as that is to believe.  So I guess Dennis will be re-elected - again.  Oh, and the race between Mike DeWine (R, incumbent) and Sherrod Brown  (D., challenger) is pretty darn ugly.  And the race for Governor is even uglier. 


I don't have exact numbers, but pretty much across our state I think everyone just wants some fresh faces.  We're all pretty sick of the current status quo.  But you never know.  Election Day is always a surprise.


Save the Cheerleader.  Save the World.

"When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty."  - George Bernard Shaw

marie-louise's picture

(post #46356, reply #19 of 22)

I looked it up-Nancy Pelosi is Catholic. It's just our senators that come from "that" religion. (And for the casual readers who wouldn't know this-I'm only saying that way because I am also Jewish.)

There is a whole big article in the SF Chronicle about this today. Apparently the phrase "homosexual agenda" is now being used, and someone somewhere has an ad using that phrase and tying their opposition w/ Nancy & Barney Franks.

Sheesh-let's talk about the war. And the economy, which looks good at the moment but consumer spending was way down last quarter.

I miss Ronald Reagan. I didn't agree w/ just about anything he said, but at least he had integrity.

Biscuit's picture

(post #46356, reply #20 of 22)

Ah, yes!  That Homosexual Agenda!  (G)  I just want to know - what the **** is a Homosexual Agenda?  Seriously.  Could someone please give me a definition because I am lost here.  Is that anything like the Heterosexual Male Agenda?  Or the Feminist Agenda?  Or the Anti-Semite Agenda?  Or maybe the Christian Right Agenda?    I don't get it.  Perhaps it's along the same lines as the White-Men-For-Torture Agenda. 


DH and I were talking today about how this Administration reminds us of 1984 - how the entire English language seems to be being re-written.  Like today - I saw how the White House is VEHEMENTLY denying that Dick Cheney EVER endorsed water-boarding!  Ever!  He didn't!  Except - hmmm - yea, I think he did.  Unless of course I misinterpreted or took him out of context, because I actually sat through the entire speech he gave this week when he said "dunking a prisoner up and down in water can be very effective in getting them to talk".  Hmmm - well, perhaps I didn't understand.  Sounds like he's endorsing water-boarding to me.  Oh, of COURSE!  I get it!  He's endorsing DUNKING!  Dunking is NOT waterboarding!  I get it.  Stupid me.


This election needs to get here quick.  I'm really getting nasty over all these games of semantics.  Its ridiculous. 


Save the Cheerleader.  Save the World.

"When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty."  - George Bernard Shaw

MadMom's picture

(post #46356, reply #22 of 22)

Games of semantics?  You couldn't be referring to such things as the clean air act, the clean water act, the PATRIOT act, the no child left behind act, could you?  Or perhaps you foolishly thought Mission Accomplished meant mission accomplished, or that the insurgency was in their last throes...or, I loved it when Bush said today we were winning in Iraq.  Exactly what the hell are we winning?  Body counts?  How many people we can torture?  How many families we can destroy?  I am so sick and disgusted, and if things don't change in November, then perhaps we really do have the government we deserve.



Not One More Day!
Not One More Dime! Not One More Life! Not One More Lie!

End the Occupation of Iraq -- Bring the Troops Home Now!

And Take Care of Them When They Get Here!

Iguana's picture

(post #46356, reply #15 of 22)

>PS Is that your state where her opponent is accusing the Iraq vet who lost both legs of being in favor of cutting-and-running? That comment boggles the imagination.

No, it's here in Illinois. She's in the western suburbs of Chicago, so I don't vote for her.

Lee's picture

(post #46356, reply #16 of 22)

PS Is that your state where her opponent is accusing the Iraq vet who lost both legs of being in favor of cutting-and-running? That comment boggles the imagination.


I think you mean Tammy Duckworth who is running in a district west of Chicago.  If I lived in her district, I'd not only vote for her, I'd work to help her win.  She's a gutsy, articulate and classy lady who actually communicates her position on the issues.  Imagine that!

PeterDurand's picture

(post #46356, reply #3 of 22)

Thanks, that is good..

 

Jean's picture

(post #46356, reply #4 of 22)

Rofl !!  Forwarding to everyone I know.



"The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts." Bertrand Russell

 
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mishmish's picture

(post #46356, reply #5 of 22)

Thanks for the giggles! :)

Ignorance is a voluntary misfortune

Don't let your mind wander. It's much to small to be out by itself.
Rhea's picture

(post #46356, reply #21 of 22)

LMAO!!!!!:)

I can't even afford the lifestyle I dont' want...

I can't even afford the lifestyle I don't want...