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This recipe rendered me speechless

AmyElliesMom's picture

Bacon Snack Bars

Prep Time: 15 min
Total Time: 15 min
Makes: 12 servings, 1 bar each

Bacon Snack Bars

1/2 cup sugar

1/2 cup light corn syrup

1/2 cup peanut butter

1 pkg. (2.8 oz.) OSCAR MAYER Real Bacon Recipe Pieces

4 tsp. TANG Orange Flavor Drink Mix

3 cups POST HONEY BUNCHES OF OATS Cereal, any variety

MIX sugar and syrup in large saucepan. Bring just to boil on medium heat, stirring frequently. Remove from heat.

ADD peanut butter; stir until well blended. Stir in bacon pieces and drink mix. Add cereal; mix well.

PRESS evenly into greased 8-inch square pan. Cool completely before cutting into 12 bars to serve.

I don't even know what to say to this. Tang. Peanut butter. And bacon.


DON'T PANIC

You live and learn. At any rate, you live..
- Douglas Adams

 

Save the Earth! It's the only planet with wine and chocolate.

TracyK's picture

(post #43572, reply #1 of 28)

Heh. That's pretty bad. There are some real doozies out there.


Squirrels are just rats in cuter outfits.
       -- Carrie Bradshaw

AmyElliesMom's picture

(post #43572, reply #2 of 28)

What I love about it - it's vitally important to use OSCAR MAYER real bacon pieces. Actual bacon won't work. And fake bacon is clearly just not good enough for this culinary delight.

Who thinks these things up? I mean, if a bunch of stoned college boys made this, that's one thing, but I got this off the Kraft website!! Okay, but it was pointed out to me by a stoned college boy, so maybe that explains it...


DON'T PANIC

You live and learn. At any rate, you live..
- Douglas Adams

 

Save the Earth! It's the only planet with wine and chocolate.

butterscotch's picture

(post #43572, reply #3 of 28)

Amy, I'm almost afraid to ask, but where did this recipe come from?

AmyElliesMom's picture

(post #43572, reply #4 of 28)

It was linked at totalfark.com, a site I belong to. It was, thankfully, properly tagged as "sick".

I still can't get over the tang and peanut butter. WTF???


DON'T PANIC

You live and learn. At any rate, you live..
- Douglas Adams

 

Save the Earth! It's the only planet with wine and chocolate.

Glenys's picture

(post #43572, reply #5 of 28)

I have to wonder, why you'd wonder.

soccermom's picture

(post #43572, reply #6 of 28)

Hahahaha!


I can just see the recipe developer saying "It's perfect! Breakfast in a bar (bacon, cereal, peanut butter and Tang) for those busy, busy people who want to have a proper breakfast but just don't have the time."


Too bad they couldn't fit in an egg and hash browns. ;)


 


 

 

 

sandermom's picture

(post #43572, reply #7 of 28)

Careful, you don't want to tempt the demon...I can see it now, "New and improved crunchy topping...mix egg beaters with potato buds and nuke for 3 minutes on high..."

Klaatu Barada Nikto

soccermom's picture

(post #43572, reply #9 of 28)

We could make a million bucks! LOL

 


 

 

 

sandermom's picture

(post #43572, reply #10 of 28)

...be afraid, be very afraid...

Klaatu Barada Nikto

soccermom's picture

(post #43572, reply #11 of 28)

We can add chocolate chips and marshmallows so the little ones will eat it, and then make diet, low-carb, low-salt, no-preservative versions.


We'll be rich, I tell you.


 


 

 

 

Astrid's picture

(post #43572, reply #12 of 28)

The Girl Scout in my says, give thanks, it is good to be prepared ( and besides this trail is only a mile long and we won't get lost if we stick to it!) Besides, it has orange in it.

New Mexico home organic gardener

Adopt the pace of nature; her secret is patience. Emerson

New Mexico home organic gardener Adopt the pace of nature; her secret is patience. Emerson
AmyElliesMom's picture

(post #43572, reply #13 of 28)

Oh god. Someone, somewhere, will do this. You'll see. Bacon bar with fried egg and hashbrowns.

Some people should have their tastebuds forcibly removed. Oh. Wait. If they eat this, they probably don't have any anyway.


DON'T PANIC

You live and learn. At any rate, you live..
- Douglas Adams

 

Save the Earth! It's the only planet with wine and chocolate.

soccermom's picture

(post #43572, reply #15 of 28)

Within a year, America will be eating it for breakfast.


Bwahahaha!


 


 

 

 

Lword's picture

(post #43572, reply #8 of 28)

Ok, it sounds awful and I wouldn't buy any of the name brand ingredients but love to sop up sausage in maple syrup, and the rest just sounds like an overly sweetened oat trail mix with bacon in a handheld form.


It's all really mostly sugar, so a little salt is probably what the bacon adds. The sugar addiction is rampant in the U.S. and one reason I'm not that fond of so many restaurant or store-bought preparations where there is sugar in so many things.


I haven't picked up a jar of Tang since about the time of the moonwalk but it is mostly sugar, if I recall.


L.
"If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one." Mother Teresa
L.
"If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one." Mother Teresa
AmyElliesMom's picture

(post #43572, reply #14 of 28)

But, but, but ORANGE AND PEANUT BUTTER??

Peanut butter and bacon - I can feel that. I can almost go with that flavor combo. Peanut butter and the cereal - yup, totally got that. Cereal and the bacon - not so much. But the peanut butter and the Tang? I cannot even imagine how awful that tastes.

I almost want to make this just to see how bad it is. Almost.

I dare someone to make them, as the recipe is written, no substitutions.

Who's up for it?


DON'T PANIC

You live and learn. At any rate, you live..
- Douglas Adams

 

Save the Earth! It's the only planet with wine and chocolate.

Astrid's picture

(post #43572, reply #17 of 28)

I really like a slice of banana bread with grated orange rind in it, spread with peanut butter, and a glass of milk. Even better with walnuts in the bread.

New Mexico home organic gardener

Adopt the pace of nature; her secret is patience. Emerson

New Mexico home organic gardener Adopt the pace of nature; her secret is patience. Emerson
AmyElliesMom's picture

(post #43572, reply #19 of 28)

Yeah, well, that's different. That's actual food!!!

I can sort of remember the Tang taste from when I was a kid - mouth puckeringly sour and orangey and sweet all at once, and I'm imagining that mixed with peanut butter at the same time as bacon.

I used to eat Tang dry, out of the jar, I must admit. But never with peanut butter!


DON'T PANIC

You live and learn. At any rate, you live..
- Douglas Adams

 

Save the Earth! It's the only planet with wine and chocolate.

Astrid's picture

(post #43572, reply #20 of 28)

Yup, I ate it out of the jar too. Had trouble with it when making large batches for camp meals though, dumping it out made clouds of orange dust which went up my nose and made everything smell and taste like orange for a while. Ugh.
How is Miss Elllie doing with her therapy these days?

New Mexico home organic gardener

Adopt the pace of nature; her secret is patience. Emerson


Edited 5/18/2005 9:58 am ET by Astrid

New Mexico home organic gardener Adopt the pace of nature; her secret is patience. Emerson
AmyElliesMom's picture

(post #43572, reply #21 of 28)

Oh, man, Tang dust. That stuff could have you coughing for hours!

I made some Koolaid for Ellie the other day (kid can go through an entire container of juice in one day, so I figured some watered-down Koolaid in the afternoons couldn't be that bad. I've officially given up on feeding her an all-natural diet, lol!) and the dust was so awful. I was sneezing the rest of the day.

And she's doing awesome in therapy. She can go up a 6 inch curb on her own now, but still needs 1 hand held to go down. She's going up stairs holding onto the railing on her own, but needs help going down still.

She's learning to kick a ball (which is good for her visual maturation, too) and to "jump" on a tramp. She can't quite get her feet off of it yet, but she will.

And she's doing this little sort of walk/running thing. She'll lean her body forward like she's going to run, but then she just walks really, really fast! It's so cute. I should video it.

She's actually going to be evaluated for starting special ed preschool next week, and I've been told to expect that she won't qualify for school PT! Of course, if a kid can walk at all, they don't qualify, but still. Of course, she'll still go to her private PT. Thank goodness Jeb hasn't cut the state's Medicaid budget for disabled kids yet. I live in fear of that happening.


DON'T PANIC

You live and learn. At any rate, you live..
- Douglas Adams

 

Save the Earth! It's the only planet with wine and chocolate.

Gretchen's picture

(post #43572, reply #22 of 28)

I made some Koolaid for Ellie the other day (kid can go through an entire container of juice in one day, so I figured some watered-down Koolaid in the afternoons couldn't be that bad.


Still a lot of sugar calories.  And haven't you said you have trouble getting her to drink milk?  Not sure. 
How about watering down the fruit juice.  Our kids cut DGS's at least by 50% if and when they even gave him any. 
 I don't know how you feel about artificial sweeteners but Minute Maid lemonade light is very good--and can use some watering down in addition.  Juices are really being pinpointed as a cause of childhood obesity--'way overused.


Gretchen
Gretchen
AmyElliesMom's picture

(post #43572, reply #24 of 28)

Oh, no, she drinks plenty of milk. It's water she hates. So, the watered down koolaid is mostly just to flavor it slightly. I do water her juice, too. She drinks alot, though.

I made it with less sugar, though. I used 2/3 cup for one packet, so it's still not so bad. And, as I have learned over the years, sugar is sugar is sugar whether it's juice or kool aid. Juice just has some vitamins and stuff that obviously kool aid doesn't. And of course, no fake color and flavor.

But with juice costing almost $3.00 a jug now, and there hardly ever being any coupons for it (thank goodness for all of the buy one get one free sales), I had to resort to kool aid when she ran out.

But at least I didn't mix it with bacon bits.


DON'T PANIC

You live and learn. At any rate, you live..
- Douglas Adams

 

Save the Earth! It's the only planet with wine and chocolate.

Gretchen's picture

(post #43572, reply #25 of 28)

But with juice costing almost $3.00 a jug now, and there hardly ever being any coupons for it


How about frozen concentrate--unless the jug you are describing is a gallon.  Or even the Welch's concentrates.


Gretchen
Gretchen
AmyElliesMom's picture

(post #43572, reply #26 of 28)

I used to get those, but now both Publix and Kash n Karry (see, I took everyone's advice and started shopping there, too!!) only carry the juice "cocktails" in the frozen! Can you believe it? I used to get her the Welch's White Grape Peach and White Grape Raspberry, but they discontinued them! They still do the apple juice and purple grape juice, but I'm not cleaning up grape juice stains. And apple juice isn't the best for Ellie, for shall we say "delicate" reasons. And they carry orange juice, which is too much for her just yet. Everything else is a "cocktail", with the first ingredient being "high fructose corn syrup".

But I'd rather her have cane sugar than high fructose corn syrup, that's for sure! I've read that the high fructose corn syrup is the biggest culprit in obesity - and it's everywhere.

The one thing I've really noticed the past few years is how expensive "real" food is getting - pure juice, real potatoes, etc. compared to how cheap processed stuff is getting. It used to be cheaper to buy fresh, but now, it's much cheaper to buy a box of say, instant mashed potatoes and a few packets of Kool Aid. It's sad.


DON'T PANIC

You live and learn. At any rate, you live..
- Douglas Adams

 

Save the Earth! It's the only planet with wine and chocolate.

soccermom's picture

(post #43572, reply #23 of 28)

Glad to hear Ellie's doing well in PT. I know kicking a ball takes a lot of coordination!


Definitely videotape the cute stuff; it'll be gone overnight. I'm not good with photos but tried to video the everyday stuff, and that's what's so fun watching. Seeing their little bodies, and hearing their baby voices brings it all back. DDs love watching the tapes too.


 


 

 

 

Astrid's picture

(post #43572, reply #27 of 28)

That is great that Ellie is doing that much! It must make life more interesting for all of you. I hope she enjoys school.

New Mexico home organic gardener

Adopt the pace of nature; her secret is patience. Emerson

New Mexico home organic gardener Adopt the pace of nature; her secret is patience. Emerson
Lword's picture

(post #43572, reply #18 of 28)

I'm with you against orange and peanut butter, but Tang I think is mostly sugar, not mostly orange. (Long time ago since I tasted it.)


Don't try the recipe! Instead, play with a half a cup of a cooked grain or dried cereal and some honey, then add nuts and seeds, dried fruit and anything you like. It's surely a personal preference but I like a sweet-salty contrast.


To me it's just a note about our sugar-addicted culture that such recipes abound. Want dessert? Roast carrots or yams. Want a sugar infusion? Eat something with added sugar.


L.
"If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one." Mother Teresa
L.
"If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one." Mother Teresa
Billll's picture

(post #43572, reply #16 of 28)

If you substituted artificial bacon bits you could serve it at a Vegan convention.

iguana667's picture

(post #43572, reply #28 of 28)

It should be a crime to do that to Bacon.