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For pet lovers....

SallyBR1's picture

I am sure this was posted before, but still - it is a good one

Excerpts from a Dog's Diary
>
>
> ===========================
>
>
>
> 8:00 am - Dog food! My favourite thing!
>
>
>
> 9:30 am - A car ride! My favourite thing!
>
>
>
> 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favourite thing!
>
>
>
> 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favourite
> thing!
>
>
>
> 12:00 pm - Lunch! My favourite thing!
>
>
>
> 1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favourite thing!
>
>
>
> 3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favourite thing!
>
>
>
> 5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favourite thing!
>
>
>
> 7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favourite thing!
>
>
>
> 8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My
> favourite thing!
>
>
>
> 11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!
>
>
>
>
>
> Excerpts from a Cat's Diary
>
>
> ===========================
>
>
>
> Day 983 of my captivity.
>
>
>
> My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little
> dangling
> objects.
>
>
>
> They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other
> inmates and I
> are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I
> make my contempt
> for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must
> eat something in
> order to keep up my strength.
>
>
>
> The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of
> escape. In an
> attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the
> carpet.
>
>
>
> Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its
> headless body at
> their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into
> their hearts, since
> it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of.
> However, they merely made
> condescending comments about what a "good little
> hunter" I am.
>
>
>
> Bastards!
>
>
>
> There was some sort of assembly of their
> accomplices tonight. I
> was placed in solitary confinement for the duration
> of the event.
>
>
>
> However, I could hear the noises and smell the
> food. I overheard
> that my confinement was due to the power of
> "allergies." I must learn
> what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
>
>
>
> Today I was almost successful in an attempt to
> assassinate one
> of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he
> was walking. I must
> try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the
> stairs.
>
>
>
> I am convinced that the other prisoners here are
> flunkies and
> snitches.
>
>
>
> The dog receives special privileges. He is
> regularly released -
> and seems to be more than willing to return. He is
> obviously retarded.
>
>
>
> The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him
> communicate
> with the guards regularly. I am certain that he
> reports my every move.
> My captors have arranged protective custody for him
> in an elevated cell,
> so he is safe.
>
>
>
> For now...
>

 


 


I might be a lousy gardener, a horrible cake baker, but I can do a mean verrine!

(soupereasy, June 2007)

msm-s's picture

(post #48157, reply #1 of 5)

that's hilarious! i have to send it to my parents (we're all cat people, but we accept their attitude). this year for mom's birthday DS and i go her a second card, *from* our cat. it had a photo of a disgruntled cat in a party hat, inside, the cat said "whatever".

growing old is inevitable. acting old is optional.

RuthWells's picture

(post #48157, reply #2 of 5)

Love it!

Ruth Wells


"Gardening is the only unquestionably useful job."
 - G.B. Shaw


www.cookiesforacure.blogspot.com

Ruth Wells

"Gardening is the only unquestionably useful job."
 - G.B. Shaw

www.lemonade-and-kidneys.blogspot.com

www.ruthssweetpleasures.com

http://www.pkdcure.org/Default.aspx?TabI...

drussell's picture

(post #48157, reply #3 of 5)

Your post gave me a very hearty laugh! We have three cats and it captured their personalities very well. We don't have any dogs, but the next door neighbors have two. Our cats have the very attitude towards those dogs that your message described.


Have to make sure DD reads your post tonight.


Loved it!


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


1

assibams's picture

(post #48157, reply #4 of 5)

LOVE IT! Describes our cat to a T, and most dogs I know, too :-)


Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.

"A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort."
Herm Albright

Gretchen's picture

(post #48157, reply #5 of 5)

I saw that a while back and was thinking about it the other day. I LOVE it. I think it was originally cartoon captions with appropriate pictures.  Dog jumping all over. Cat in same position throughout.  I particularly like "the bird must be an informant" part!!


Thanks. I'll copy and save this time.


Gretchen
Gretchen