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The "other" world we live in

Jillsifer's picture

Disclaimer: I am in COMPLETE agreement with everybody's comments about the death due to self-centered rudeness in the Long Island Walmart, and I mourn the loss of an innocent man who was just trying to make a living.


But there are still bright spots . . . I had a HUGE Costco order the other day, and the young man who boxed up my stuff put ALL the heavy things together--didn't distribute the load at all. Of course I tried to load the car fast so people could have my parking place--but I realized I had the task from h*ll ahead of me because of all the heavy stuff.


As I struggled, three men approached from different directions. ALL offered to help load the heavy boxes into my car.


Yeah, I realize it's not the biggest deal in the world, and by the looks of these guys, lifting probably wasn't hard for them. But I was really pleased and cheered to know that strangers sometimes still offer assistance. And I just thought it was a heartening counterpoint to some of the ugliness we have to deal with.


 


 


The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's REALLY in trouble.

Christmas is the season for kindling the fire of hospitality in the hall, the genial flame of charity in the heart.

-- Washington Irving

Syrah's picture

(post #51411, reply #1 of 73)

It is a big deal though. Being considerate of other people is fast becoming a phenomenon.

I believe in champagne...

"Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and, above all, confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something, and that this thing, at whatever cost, must be obtained." -Marie Curie

AnnL's picture

(post #51411, reply #2 of 73)

Yes, it IS nice to hear about the small acts of kindness that can make such a difference.  Thanks for sharing that.  :-)

Ann
"The elders were wise.  They knew that man's heart, away from nature, becomes hard; they knew that lack of respect for growing, living things, soon led to lack of respect for humans, too."  Chief Luther Standing Bear, Lakota Sioux

Ann
"The elders were wise.  They knew that man's heart, away from nature, becomes hard; they knew that lack of respect for growing, living things, soon led to lack of respect for humans, too."  Chief Luther Standing Bear, Lakota Sioux

SallyBR1's picture

(post #51411, reply #3 of 73)

running a very high risk of sounding "cheesy" - I try to do at least one act of kindness to total strangers on a daily basis

it makes me feel good, so in a way it is a selfish thing.

ok, you can all roll your eyes to the ceiling - I gave you enough reason for that

:-)

thecooktoo's picture

(post #51411, reply #4 of 73)

I believe firmly in "random acts of kindness!"  I used to enjoy going through a toll booth and paying the toll for the car following me.  People  would chase me up the highway just to wave and smile at me.  Now that I have that automatic toll paying thingy on my car, I still will jump in the pay toll line every once in a while just so I can do it.


It makes me smile.


Jim

MadMom's picture

(post #51411, reply #5 of 73)

I think that it is truly better to give than to receive.  We should all remember the glow we get from helping others and try to do it more often.  Good for you, Jim.



Not One More Day!
Not One More Dime! Not One More Life! Not One More Lie!

End the Occupation of Iraq -- Bring the Troops Home Now!

And Take Care of Them When They Get Here!

SallyBR1's picture

(post #51411, reply #6 of 73)

for me, this all started for unusual reasons. I had a severe shyness problem - it would be hard to believe if you met me now, but I had a tough time socializing.

it became so serious that I had to look for a psychologist - luckily when I was 23 years old, I found a therapist who was absolutely amazing. It took a couple of years, but slowly he helped me get out of my shell - in the beginning he said I should talk to a stranger once a day. If I did not feel like talking, I should at least make eye contact and smile

from that it moved on to making small conversations - the only rule was that it had to be a complete stranger. Interestingly enough, this made it easier to start interacting with people who were not complete strangers, but for instance, folks working in a lab next door, or professors I crossed in the hall but did not know very well.

so this whole thing has very selfish motives, but who cares? :-)

Florida2's picture

(post #51411, reply #7 of 73)

I totally am not rolling my eyes at you Sally. This is my goal as well, to perform kindness where I see I can perform them-- like helping an old lady on a cane to get into a car and so forth.


I recall when my MIL was in a rehab home for elderly 3 hours from my house   after she was run over by a car. I virtually lived with her for the week. She had 3 elderly roomates with little family  and I helped them as well. When she was cold, I got inot bed with her and warmed her with the heat of my body. I got them all food, drinks, entertained them. I saved one of them from death as she was having a heart attack and the incompetent CNA did not recognize it as such.  As the crowning touch, I made it happen that all three of them got their flu shots (they were overlooked by staff)


When it came time to say goodbye and drive my MIL to a facility closer to home, one of the roomates came up with tears in her eyes, hugged me, and said, "Just when you think there is no one good left in the world someone like you comes along".


I'll never forget that, and since then, I've ascribed to your philosophy of doing good.

Canuck's picture

(post #51411, reply #8 of 73)

Your story gave me goosebumps.


A little thoughtfulness can go a long way.

MadMom's picture

(post #51411, reply #9 of 73)

When my daughters were in high school, they had to perform a certain amount of charity work.  Younger DD went to a nursing home, visiting and helping the people there.  It was so sad that so many people were totally neglected by their families, who never came to see them, never visited them.  These were not people who had serious dementia, just people who could no longer care for themselves.  Makes me want to cry, because I'm approaching the age where such things are possible.  God love my Irish DSIL; he claims that if I'm no longer able to live independently, I can move in with them.  Seems that is the way families work where he comes from.  Here we just tend to warehouse our elderly and forget them.



Not One More Day!
Not One More Dime! Not One More Life! Not One More Lie!

End the Occupation of Iraq -- Bring the Troops Home Now!

And Take Care of Them When They Get Here!

Canuck's picture

(post #51411, reply #10 of 73)

I volunteered through the Red Cross in a nursing home when I was a young teen. We used to push a cart with cookies, candies, and snacks. It was a very sad place.


I have a hard time thinking of it.

wonka's picture

(post #51411, reply #32 of 73)

No rolling of eyes here. I try to do the same.

FitnessNut's picture

(post #51411, reply #33 of 73)

No eye-rolling here! I try to do the same as much as possible. Being kind to strangers makes me feel good, its that simple. I'd rather go through my day feeling good....

Follow your bliss ~~ Joseph Campbell

Follow your bliss ~~ Joseph Campbell
BossHog's picture

(post #51411, reply #11 of 73)

You know, I almost hate to do stuff like that. I'm always concerned that women will think I'm trying to hit on them, or something like that. (Especially if they're young and cute)

It's hard to know when the offer of kindness will be accepted and when it will be viewed with suspicion.

The end result of kindness is that it draws people to you. [Anita Roddick]



Canuck's picture

(post #51411, reply #12 of 73)

<I'm always concerned that women will think I'm trying to hit on them, or something like that. (Especially if they're young and cute)>


The young cute ones aren't the ones who need the help LOL; look for the older ones hampered by a couple of kids "helping".


Even help that isn't accepted doesn't change the fact that you offered. 

BossHog's picture

(post #51411, reply #13 of 73)

"Even help that isn't accepted doesn't change the fact that you offered."

Maybe not. But a couple of bad experiences can sure turn you off.

I don't agree that only older ladies need help. Maybe with lifting packages, but not in general.

I've helped young and old with car trouble, helped them out of snow drifts, etc. There are lots of ways to help, and lots of people who need it.

The best way to realize the pleasure of being rich is to live in a smaller house than your means would entitle you to have. [Edward Clarke]



MadMom's picture

(post #51411, reply #14 of 73)

My Irish DSIL is always disappearing when he goes shopping, off to carry packages to a car, helping open doors, etc.  He was brought up to help others, and he does it whenever he can.  That makes me feel both proud and ashamed that I don't do more.



Not One More Day!
Not One More Dime! Not One More Life! Not One More Lie!

End the Occupation of Iraq -- Bring the Troops Home Now!

And Take Care of Them When They Get Here!

Canuck's picture

(post #51411, reply #15 of 73)

Yes, I know. I try not to be offended if someone's rude when I offer help, but I know that it can get you down.


No, you're right about all sorts needing help. It was just the "young and cute" comment. My mom used to point out that her gorgeous single stewardess friend used to get lots of help with doors etc. when they were out, but few people offered it to my mom when she was carrying two babies. :)

BossHog's picture

(post #51411, reply #16 of 73)

I hold doors for anyone - From fat old men to cute young women. I don't discriminate.

But I am disappointed at how few people actually say "thanks".

A man who finds it painful to smile should not open a shop. [Confucius]



roz's picture

(post #51411, reply #17 of 73)

<<<But I am disappointed at how few people actually say "thanks".>>>

Right, one should say "Thank you". Doing a good deed or being polite doesn't mean one should expect politeness in kind. Keep doing kindesses whether you are thanked or not. I feel it spreads good feelings around.

Be impeccable with your word. Don't take anything personally. Don't make assumptions. Do your best. Don Miguel Ruiz
BossHog's picture

(post #51411, reply #19 of 73)

I didn't mean to imply that I only did nice things for people ONLY because I thought that they might thank me. I look at it more like it's an indication of an overall lack of gratitude. Like it's just "expected or somehting.

I haven't noticed an age difference - I get it from young and old alike.

Those prizes in Cracker Jacks are a joke. I once got a magnifying glass. It was so poorly made, ants were laughing at it.



roz's picture

(post #51411, reply #20 of 73)

ITA. I wasn't finding fault with you, particularly. My DH and I call the lack of politeness, entitlement. Some people think they are 'entitled' to act in such a manner. I could rant about this, but will not.

Be impeccable with your word. Don't take anything personally. Don't make assumptions. Do your best. Don Miguel Ruiz
MadMom's picture

(post #51411, reply #21 of 73)

In St. Croix, people were always stopping to allow people to pull into traffic, waving them ahead, stopping for them to turn left.  I try to do that here, but if there's a long line behind me, I am always afraid of getting hit in the rear end, and I'm amazed at how many people don't even acknowledge the simple act with a wave or a nod of their head.  I guess sense of entitlement is right, but I still do it.  Makes me feel good, and maybe when they think of it later, they'll feel good also.




Not One More Day!
Not One More Dime! Not One More Life! Not One More Lie!

End the Occupation of Iraq -- Bring the Troops Home Now!

And Take Care of Them When They Get Here!
roz's picture

(post #51411, reply #23 of 73)

Here in Ireland, the roads are really narrow, and you come upon two cars facing each other. One must be polite and pull over and the other car will 'wink' its lights to allow the other car to pass. Or, you'll be driving and come upon two cars with owners talking to each other and have to 'wait' until they finish their conversation. Ask your DSIL, he'll tell you.

Be impeccable with your word. Don't take anything personally. Don't make assumptions. Do your best. Don Miguel Ruiz
Maedl's picture

(post #51411, reply #46 of 73)

Several years ago I bought a ticket to see Die Fledermaus at the Vienna State Opera on New Years Day. It wasn't a great ticket, but it wasn't the worst in the house, either. Then, several days later, I was able to get a better seat, which meant I had an extra ticket on hand--for a very in-demand performance. So, I decided I'd get to the opera house early and give the ticket away. By the time I got there, no more tickers were available. So, I stood near the box office and offered my ticket to several people who had been turned away from the ticket desk. I had to offer it to three or four people before someone finally accepted it. I got questions like, "How much do you want for it." (When I said I was offering it for free, I got a look like I was crazy). Another man asked, "Why are you doing this?" and walked away from me. I finally found a college-age woman, (my original target, since I wanted to give someone an experience similar to one I had when I was a student) who was absolutely delighted. But go figure those other reactions!

Margie
Between the Alps and the Chesapeake Bay:
Where Food and Culture Intersect
www.alpsandbay.blogspot.com

Margie Between the Alps and the Chesapeake Bay: Where Food and Culture Intersect www.alpsandbay.blogspot.com
MadMom's picture

(post #51411, reply #47 of 73)

People are so used to being scammed that I guess they figured surely you had an angle somewhere!  Good for you for giving it away, though.



Not One More Day!
Not One More Dime! Not One More Life! Not One More Lie!

End the Occupation of Iraq -- Bring the Troops Home Now!

And Take Care of Them When They Get Here!

Jean's picture

(post #51411, reply #48 of 73)

Smile! You're on candid camera!


bellbutt.gifAnd there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. Luke 2:8
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MadMom's picture

(post #51411, reply #49 of 73)

Better not be!  (I was thinking of me, sitting here in my jammies and robe, half asleep already.)  Although I'll bet that was exactly what people might have thought when they were offered a free ticket.  What's the catch? 


Isn't it sad that we have all come to this?  I was taught growing up that if someone gave you a compliment, you said thank you.  "That's a lovely dress."  "Thank you."  Now our response would be more like "This old rag?"  We never think about the fact that we're insulting the person who tried to give us a compliment. 




Not One More Day!
Not One More Dime! Not One More Life! Not One More Lie!

End the Occupation of Iraq -- Bring the Troops Home Now!

And Take Care of Them When They Get Here!
soupereasy's picture

(post #51411, reply #50 of 73)

Couldn't agree more! I also think when someone compliments on a lovely meal, regardless, one should say "I'm glad you enjoyed it.".


Yes, we have all made meals that we thought could use a bit of tweaking. No point in taking it out on our guest.;)


 

MadMom's picture

(post #51411, reply #51 of 73)

Must be our Puritan background.  We should accept compliments gracefully and assume they are genuinely meant.  A compliment on our cooking usually sends us into a tirade about how we didn't have all the ingredients, the oven wasn't working right, we left something out, something burned, something was ready too early and got cold, etc., etc, etc,  Almost makes you want to just say "Thank you for inviting me" and not mention the meal!



Not One More Day!
Not One More Dime! Not One More Life! Not One More Lie!

End the Occupation of Iraq -- Bring the Troops Home Now!

And Take Care of Them When They Get Here!

soupereasy's picture

(post #51411, reply #36 of 73)

Saying "thank you" is so easy! I know my mouth blurts it out without even thinking. I am also very fond of "you're welcome".:)