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DeannaS's picture

Meet Sully (post #46646)

Our first foster child went off to his adoptive family on Halloween. Three weeks later, Sully arrived. Sully is turning one tomorrow. He's a real cutie - easy going and fun to have around.

Sully!

He's a voluntary placement, meaning his mom asked the system to take him so she could get her life back together. We tentatively have him for 60 days. But, I'll be surprised if he leaves then. Mom has to find an apartment and that's proving to be difficult. But, Sully has visits with either mom, dad, or both 4 times a week. They're working real hard to get their lives in order so he can go home.

It's been a very different experience this time around - much easier. While he still doesn't sleep through the night, he's not as night-needy as Xav was. So, we're all getting more sleep. And, Soren likes playing with him, which is great.

The only challenging thing is that he's lactose intolerant. But, we're pretty good with that, considering that I have some of the same issues, and Soren did, too. We're back to reading labels much more closely, though, as he seems particularly sensitive.

"As for butter versus margarine, I trust cows more than chemists." - Joan Dye Gussow

Iguana's picture

(post #46646, reply #1 of 40)

This is truly a wonderful thing that you are doing, and a cute kid too!

Jen

Aberwacky's picture

(post #46646, reply #2 of 40)

What a cutie, and thanks to you for doing such a caring, wonderful thing. 


Leigh


Cooking is messy.  Deal with it or stay out of the kitchen.

"Happiness does not depend on outward things, but on the way we see them." 
-Leo Tolstoy
Jean's picture

(post #46646, reply #3 of 40)

What's not to love there, eh? Glad this experience is a positive one. Good for you!



They told me I was gullible and I believed them.
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com/

A  clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com/
help to provide free mammograms for women in need
mer's picture

(post #46646, reply #4 of 40)

You are pretty fabulous.    Sully is cute.

MadMom's picture

(post #46646, reply #5 of 40)

How precious!  So glad this is being a better experience, and glad his parents seem to care enough to try to pull their lives together for him.  Bless you for what you're doing.



Not One More Day!
Not One More Dime! Not One More Life! Not One More Lie!

End the Occupation of Iraq -- Bring the Troops Home Now!

And Take Care of Them When They Get Here!

DeannaS's picture

(post #46646, reply #6 of 40)

Thanks all. We really feel like we get a lot out of it. We enjoy fostering and it's good for Soren. I recommend it. :)

"As for butter versus margarine, I trust cows more than chemists." - Joan Dye Gussow

mer's picture

(post #46646, reply #7 of 40)

Are you a SAHM or do you work from home?  Hope you don't mind, I'm just curious.

DeannaS's picture

(post #46646, reply #8 of 40)

Neither. My husband is a SAHD, who works 2 over-night shifts a week. I work 4 10-hour days and am home one day a week with the kids.

But, you can actually do foster care even if you're both working. They'll pay for daycare, if necessary.

"As for butter versus margarine, I trust cows more than chemists." - Joan Dye Gussow

mer's picture

(post #46646, reply #9 of 40)

wow.  I would not have guessed that daycare would be paid for.  What you are doing is really inspiring.

DeannaS's picture

(post #46646, reply #11 of 40)

I think they try to find SAHP when they can. But, for instance, I have a friend that is single, and she has a concurrent (meaning she'll most likely end up adopting her) placement of a 2.5 year old girl. Obviously, being single, she has her in daycare. There's a limit to what they'll pay, but the rates are based on county cost of living standards. So, I think they're pretty close.

They've been begging us to up our license to 2. (We are only licensed for 1 right now.) I think in most places it's really difficult to find enough foster families, and they do whatever they can to get qualified people to care for these kids. (We're sticking to our guns on 1, though. We don't have enough bedroom space for 2, as the one that we have is sharing with Soren already. Technically, we could have another one under 1 and put him/her in our room with us. But, we really don't want to go there.)

"As for butter versus margarine, I trust cows more than chemists." - Joan Dye Gussow

mer's picture

(post #46646, reply #12 of 40)

I would to stick to your guns on this one, unless of course you all change your mind.  I imagine it is much much easier on them to get a wonderful family to take in one more kid than for them to find another equally wonderful family to take in a child.   


It is very unusual for a single person to do foster care, isn't it?  That's pretty wonderful of her.   How long has she had the little girl?

DeannaS's picture

(post #46646, reply #13 of 40)

There was one other single person in our training session. I'm not sure how unusual it is. It's not something I'd want to do. As Jill says, motherhood is not for sissies and foster motherhood has extra drama thrown in. My friend has had her placement for almost 6 months now. In her situation, this is the 5th child that's been removed from the home, and all of them have ended up being permanent removals. This one was taken away when a friend turned mom in for using the little girl's medicine money to buy drugs. Ouch. My friend expects that she'll end up adopting her, which will be very good for her. She already calls my friend "mommy" - since she's more mom than she's ever known before. It's a rough one, and she's a handful, since she's had so little parenting up until now. I give her lots of credit. I don't think I could do it alone.

"As for butter versus margarine, I trust cows more than chemists." - Joan Dye Gussow

mer's picture

(post #46646, reply #14 of 40)

wow.  that's tough.  she is wonderful.

wonka's picture

(post #46646, reply #15 of 40)

I grew up with foster kids in our house. My sister was one of them. My mom found it hard because she fell in love with all of them and then they would be moved or go back to their parents. My sister was the last foster child we had. She had been abandoned (left with a babysitter and never picked up) while her mother ran after her father. She came to us when she was 8 weeks old, we adopted her at 4. She is now 40. When I was little I had some jealousy issues over some of the other kids but I feel that was a good thing. I worked through them with my family and developed alot of empathy because of the experience.

AnnL's picture

(post #46646, reply #10 of 40)

He's adorable! 

AnnL
Transitions Farm
Gardening, cooking, and riding
in Central Mass.

Ann
"The elders were wise.  They knew that man's heart, away from nature, becomes hard; they knew that lack of respect for growing, living things, soon led to lack of respect for humans, too."  Chief Luther Standing Bear, Lakota Sioux

Regality's picture

(post #46646, reply #16 of 40)

Pardon me if I offend, but I keep wondering how wise and tactful it is to post the pic and info about the foster cihld.

 


“For me, patriotism is the love of one’s country, while nationalism is the hatred of other peoples.”–Dmitri Likhachev


http://regality3.livejournal.com/profile


 



msm-s's picture

(post #46646, reply #18 of 40)

deanna, you are doing a wonderful thing and so is your friend!
but i have to second regality's point. even if the authorities are cool with it (and i don't see how they would be), it's just a matter of security and better safe than sorry. i'm sure all the CTers are great folks and i can see the temptation to share your adorable foster son with the good people here, but it's the unknown surfers that would freak me out. be safe-

DeannaS's picture

(post #46646, reply #20 of 40)

Well, I didn't post his last name, or his parent's name. I can see the issue, though. So, I shall cease and desist.

"As for butter versus margarine, I trust cows more than chemists." - Joan Dye Gussow

AnnL's picture

(post #46646, reply #21 of 40)

I don't really see that it's an issue.  Most foster children that are available for adoption are listed with their pics on one of the many adoption sites on the 'net.  My feeling is that anything that brings attention to these kids is a good thing.  But, that's just me.  :-)

AnnL
Transitions Farm
Gardening, cooking, and riding
in Central Mass.

Ann
"The elders were wise.  They knew that man's heart, away from nature, becomes hard; they knew that lack of respect for growing, living things, soon led to lack of respect for humans, too."  Chief Luther Standing Bear, Lakota Sioux

TracyK's picture

(post #46646, reply #22 of 40)

I totally agree with you. :-)

CT poster in bad standing since 2000.

MadMom's picture

(post #46646, reply #23 of 40)

I agree with you.  I don't see that Deanna has done anything wrong.



Not One More Day!
Not One More Dime! Not One More Life! Not One More Lie!

End the Occupation of Iraq -- Bring the Troops Home Now!

And Take Care of Them When They Get Here!

Jean's picture

(post #46646, reply #24 of 40)

Here they have whole articles in the paper about the kids in foster care that are looking for adoptive parents. No problem with you posting a photo and first name.



They told me I was gullible and I believed them.
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com/

A  clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com/
help to provide free mammograms for women in need
msm-s's picture

(post #46646, reply #25 of 40)

a local newspaper is a different animal from the www. and sully is not necessarily looking for a foster family, he's with a loving family right now :-)
i'm not saying that weird things happen all the time nor that anything resulting from posting photo here will directly impact little sully. but certain aspects of the internet and open message boards do creep me out and in the crowd i hang out with, IRL as well as most places on the net, it's a given that we just take these precautions about our children.


Edited 12/8/2006 10:54 am ET by msm-s

TracyK's picture

(post #46646, reply #26 of 40)

Precautions like only using first names, and not posting any details about location or other identifiers? ;-)

CT poster in bad standing since 2000.

AnnL's picture

(post #46646, reply #27 of 40)

Exactly!

AnnL
Transitions Farm
Gardening, cooking, and riding
in Central Mass.

Ann
"The elders were wise.  They knew that man's heart, away from nature, becomes hard; they knew that lack of respect for growing, living things, soon led to lack of respect for humans, too."  Chief Luther Standing Bear, Lakota Sioux

msm-s's picture

(post #46646, reply #28 of 40)

we all have our different comfort levels. as long as sully's placement agency is comfortable with this, that's what matters.
also, it would be good to consider that his real parents or potential other parents may not share the same comfort level about the internet and prefer privacy.
i don't know about you guys, but even during pregnancy, my protective maternal instincts really kicked in and it's just easier to make it a blanket policy that i don't post my child's picture at any public spaces on the net. is that really so wacky? maybe because i was so old when i had him (45) and thought i'd never have kids and he seemed doubly precious to me

Edited 12/8/2006 11:09 am ET by msm-s


Edited 12/8/2006 12:42 pm ET by msm-s

TracyK's picture

(post #46646, reply #29 of 40)

Hey, if it makes you uncomfortable, then of course don't do it yourself... but there's no need to extend your personal paranoia to those who don't have the same fears.


If Deanna is comfortable with it and there aren't any rules against it, then she should feel free to share her photos without being reprimanded by others.


CT poster in bad standing since 2000.

msm-s's picture

(post #46646, reply #30 of 40)

pardon my extensive paranoia, but i don't think it's a particularly extreme choice to keep my son's face off the internet.
i never meant to sound reprimanding towards deanna, who is truly a saint for sharing her heart and home, and i never got the impression she took it that way. i simply seconded what i thought was a good point, not knowing what the placement agency's policy actually is. your parenting instincts are obviouisly different from mine, and both have pros and cons. peace-

MadMom's picture

(post #46646, reply #31 of 40)

I hardly think it is an extreme choice to keep your child's name and/or picture off the internet, nor do I think it is an extreme choice to post them.  It is, however, a personal choice, and up to the parent (or, in Deanna's case, the foster parent) involved.



Not One More Day!
Not One More Dime! Not One More Life! Not One More Lie!

End the Occupation of Iraq -- Bring the Troops Home Now!

And Take Care of Them When They Get Here!

chiquiNO's picture

(post #46646, reply #32 of 40)

May God richly Bless YOU and your family Deanna for doing such an unselfish act of kindness and may God help those young parents who are trying to get their act together in the best interest of their precious son!!

Chiqui from way down yonder in New Orleans