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kid arrested for open xmas present

Ricks503's picture

COLUMBIA, S.C. - A fed-up mother had her 12-year-old son arrested for allegedly rummaging through his great-grandmother's things and playing with his Christmas present early.


The mother called police Sunday after learning her son had disobeyed orders and repeatedly taken a Game Boy from its hiding place at his great-grandmother's house next door and played it. He was arrested on petty larceny charges, taken to the police station in handcuffs and held until his mother picked him up after church.


"My grandmother went out of her way to lay away a toy and paid on this thing for months," said the boy's mother, Brandi Ervin. "It was only to teach my son a lesson. He's been going through life doing things ... and getting away with it."


Police did not release the boy's name.


The mother said that her son was found in the last year to have attention deficit hyperactivity disorder but that his medicine does not seem to help.


She said he faces an expulsion hearing at his school Wednesday. Rock Hill Police Capt. Mark Bollinger said the boy took a swing at a police officer assigned to the school last month. He has been suspended from school since then.


The boy's case will be presented to Department of Juvenile Justice officials in York County, who will decide what happens to him, Bollinger said. His mother hopes he can attend a program that will finally scare him straight.


"It's not even about the Christmas present," she said. "I only want positive things out of it. ... There's no need for him to act this way. I'd rather call myself than someone else call for him doing something worse than this."


 


 


" There'll be no living with her now" - Captain Jack Sparrow

 

 

" There'll be no living with her now" - Captain Jack Sparrow

Gretchen's picture

(post #46635, reply #1 of 43)

I heard this on our news this morning since the town is virtually a suburb of Charlotte.  I was appalled at first hearing and then when I heard he will probably be suspended from school for this UNTIL I heard he had taken a swing at the officer.  He obviously needs a re-evaluation, not a "scared straight" program--or both.

Gretchen

Gretchen
Biscuit's picture

(post #46635, reply #2 of 43)

I think that was really, really brave of his mother.  It must have broken her heart to do it, but she did it anyway.


Personally, I applaud her.  It couldn't have been easy to be at the end of your rope with a child and to take such a drastic step.


Mama, I'm just a factory of love!  Know why?  Because no matter how much love I make and give you, I'm always making more!  That's what a factory does, so I'm a Factory of Love! - Max

"When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty."  - George Bernard Shaw

shar999's picture

(post #46635, reply #3 of 43)

Why not just return the Game Boy to the store.  That is surely a lesson he will remember!

Gretchen's picture

(post #46635, reply #4 of 43)

EXcellent point!!

Gretchen

Gretchen
Wolvie's picture

(post #46635, reply #12 of 43)

Toys for Tots, anyone? I would donate the gamebox. :-)

 


I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. - Will Rogers

 

wonka's picture

(post #46635, reply #5 of 43)

This sounds like a kid who is slipping through the cracks. Punitive action usually never works with these kids. They should have just taken it back to the store. Having him arrested will have him feeling unfairly treated and allows him to focus on that rather than why.

MadMom's picture

(post #46635, reply #6 of 43)

As the grandparent of two little boys who just opened all the presents under their tree (they're too young to read well, so just opened them all, regardless of who they might have been for), I think this is a problem which should have been nipped in the bud.  The boy is not a good kid who just got anxious for Christmas...he sounds like a real terror, sounds like he has been that way for years.  I hope it's not too late to put him on the right path.



Not One More Day!
Not One More Dime! Not One More Life! Not One More Lie!

End the Occupation of Iraq -- Bring the Troops Home Now!

And Take Care of Them When They Get Here!

wonka's picture

(post #46635, reply #7 of 43)

Many "bad" kids are the products of bad parenting or bad experiences. I just hope that this kid gets the right intervention to help him get on the right path.

Jean's picture

(post #46635, reply #9 of 43)

We woke up one Christmas morning to that same scenario when our youngest (DS) was about 3.  He opened every blinking one!  I'm surprised his older sisters didn't kill him then and there!



They told me I was gullible and I believed them.
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A  clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
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KarenP's picture

(post #46635, reply #10 of 43)

 What was left out of the article that I heard on the radio news is that this boy has ADHD.  I think there is a whole lot more going on in that family that the kid opening Christmas presents.  It's more than a difficult problem to deal with. 

Gretchen's picture

(post #46635, reply #11 of 43)

Yes, he does. I thought it was in the article with the statement that the meds weren't working. Hence, my original observation that he needs to be re-evaluated.


I'm not sure this mother needs to be blamed so badly. If he is ADD, doesn't respond to the meds, is in constant trouble at school, she may be at the end of HER rope and this was as much a cry for help as stuff kids do.  They all need help--and sometimes on certain levels it just isn't available until the "last straw".
I think this may be "the last straw".


 


Gretchen
Gretchen
MadMom's picture

(post #46635, reply #13 of 43)

I mentioned this story to younger DD today and at first she was incredulous..."I don't think I'm ready to put the boys in jail yet"...but then mentioned the rest of it.  I do think there's a big difference between a pre-school child opening presents and a kid who is twelve having a history of bad behavior.  I think the Game Boy thing was just the final straw.  I know I'm going to get a lot of flack for this, but when I was growing up, we didn't have ADD or ADHD or any of the other myriad diagnoses we have now.  Were our kids any better or worse?  I somehow think we were better, without all the excuses people have now.  Before the hate mail starts, I know that there are some kids who definitely need medication and help, but how many are there who latch onto this excuse for bad behavior?  or bad parenting? 



Not One More Day!
Not One More Dime! Not One More Life! Not One More Lie!

End the Occupation of Iraq -- Bring the Troops Home Now!

And Take Care of Them When They Get Here!

collwen's picture

(post #46635, reply #14 of 43)

But, then, why get him a Game Boy in the first place? Those games probably don't help with ADD/ADHD. Plus, frankly, cops should have other things to do and it's not a crime to open a present early.  This kid needs real, lasting help, not a symbolic action. 

Jean's picture

(post #46635, reply #15 of 43)

You obviously have never had to deal with a kid with the affliction. It takes more wisdom and patience than most parents are equipped with. The ones in our generation who had it were labelled incorrigible and ended up in jail or living under a bridge somewhere.



They told me I was gullible and I believed them.
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com/

A  clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com/
help to provide free mammograms for women in need
avak123's picture

(post #46635, reply #17 of 43)

 I know I'm going to get a lot of flack for this, but when I was growing up, we didn't have ADD or ADHD or any of the other myriad diagnoses we have now.  Were our kids any better or worse?  I somehow think we were better, without all the excuses people have now. 


Better? Excuses? As someone who grew up with both ADHD and Dyslexia I can't begin to tell you how difficult it was. Ignoring it doesn't make the problem go away. What disappears is your self esteem.  My DD also has these issues and fortunately for her, is able to get the help that I wasn't able to. No excuses here.


Edited 12/7/2006 12:08 pm ET by avak123

Napie's picture

(post #46635, reply #19 of 43)

I have your back on this one MM.  Now, there will be the chorus of those looking for something or someone to blame, everyone’s a victim, its’ not my fault, etc. etc.  Most of history’s great leaders and innovators were “ADHD” or some other acronym.  Too bad, life is hard, suck it up and deal with it. 

MadMom's picture

(post #46635, reply #21 of 43)

Thanks - looks like you might be the only one who agrees with me.  I was fortunate that neither of my children had this type of affliction, and cannot remember ever knowing anyone who did.  Suddenly every other kid has some problem and needs medication.  I just think that we sometimes try to substitute medication for good parenting.  It's a lot easier to pop some pills down a kid than to make the hard decisions a parent needs to make.


This does NOT mean that I think ADD, ADHD, etc., does not exist.  It's just that I think it has been overdiagnosed and is sometimes used as an excuse.  Does the kid who opened his game boy have this?  Who knows?  I certainly wouldn't hazard a guess, and perhaps he does need help.  Maybe he needs better parenting, maybe he needs medication, maybe he needs therapy.  I don't know.  I do think it can be a convenient excuse sometimes. 




Not One More Day!
Not One More Dime! Not One More Life! Not One More Lie!

End the Occupation of Iraq -- Bring the Troops Home Now!

And Take Care of Them When They Get Here!
monstersmom10's picture

(post #46635, reply #22 of 43)

I happen to agree with you that these conditions are likely overdiagnosed.  That said, for those with the condition, life can be very difficult.  There are 5 kids in my family, and the youngest has ADHD, diagnosed 14 years ago, before it was so common.  My parents are pretty good parents, and definitely involved, with each and every one of us, but until he went on medication, his behaviour could range from sweet as pie to completely irrational with no warning.  I think you're right that many have latched onto this condition as an excuse for doing and getting away with anything they want.  For those who legitimately have it, however, dealing with situations many of us don't even really have to think too hard about can be overwhelming.  I just wish there were a clear way to see who really has it, and who is just exhibiting uninhibited behaviours and being diagnosed with it.

MadMom's picture

(post #46635, reply #23 of 43)

I agree, and I know it must be heartbreaking for those dealing with children (or who are the children) who actually have the disease.  It is probably worse because there are so many who are misdiagnosed, either due to laziness on the part of the school system, their pediatrician, or their parents.



Not One More Day!
Not One More Dime! Not One More Life! Not One More Lie!

End the Occupation of Iraq -- Bring the Troops Home Now!

And Take Care of Them When They Get Here!

Jean's picture

(post #46635, reply #24 of 43)

Trying to be nice here. You obviously haven't a clue what it is like,  having to cope with this condition (it's NOT a disease). So stop throwing stones at parents, doctors and school systems that are trying their darnded to help these kids get to adulthood with the ability to cope. For some it can be likened to trying to run a marathon with 2 broken legs. The daily struggles are overwhelming and their failures lead to acting out, depression, and/or addictions. Like I said before, living in jail or under a bridge somewhere.



They told me I was gullible and I believed them.
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com/

A  clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com/
help to provide free mammograms for women in need
RuthWells's picture

(post #46635, reply #25 of 43)

Thank you, Jean -- you said it well.

Ruth Wells


"Gardening is the only unquestionably useful job."
 - G.B. Shaw

Ruth Wells

"Gardening is the only unquestionably useful job."
 - G.B. Shaw

www.lemonade-and-kidneys.blogspot.com

www.ruthssweetpleasures.com

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monstersmom10's picture

(post #46635, reply #26 of 43)

I don't know that it's necessarily laziness on anyone's part that leads to labelling so many kids with this condition.  I think that, once the condition was named and symptoms or indicators listed, many latched on to the label.  There are probably a number of diseases or conditions or chemical imbalances or whatever that have similar symptoms.  That's why, for many, the medications don't always work.  It's treating a condition they don't really have.  Sometimes the causes ARE social, or even lack of input/supervision on the parts of adults, but I feel for anyone who's child's behaviour is baffling and/or beyond their scope to deal with.  There are just so many things not understood about cause/effect, nature vs. nurture, and so on.  Misdiagnosing the condition may be more the desire to put an identity on a problem, rather than sheer laziness, but it certainly doesn't help anyone, not the parents, not the schools and  teachers, and most of all, not the children.

MadMom's picture

(post #46635, reply #27 of 43)

I agree, and Jean, I know I haven't a clue.  Still, I remember the rush to diagnose every child who acted up in class as hyperactive a few years ago, and medicate them into a stupor.  Is this fair to the children?  Is it fair to the families?  I might have been diagnosed as hyperactive, because I couldn't keep still or quiet in class.  Was I?  Probably not.  More likely, I was bored to tears because by the second week in class I had finished the books and was wondering what I was going to do the rest of the year.  That was long before we had magnet schools or advanced classes, when everyone was expected to learn at an average, or below average, pace.  I'm not saying things are not better now, and I'm not throwing stones at anyone, just wondering if all these diagnoses are correct, and if they aren't, who are we harming? 



Not One More Day!
Not One More Dime! Not One More Life! Not One More Lie!

End the Occupation of Iraq -- Bring the Troops Home Now!

And Take Care of Them When They Get Here!

msm-s's picture

(post #46635, reply #16 of 43)

i agree with wonka that punitive action is often lost on ADHD kids-- they just don't process it the way parents expect them to. and i think that no matter how bad this kid's ADHD is or how desperate the mom was, calling the police was not smart. it's lowered the bar for this kid for the rest of his life. i mean, once you've been taken away in handcuffs at 12, that becomes an irreversable part of your identity. mind you, i don't have the perfect answer, but i agree that a better route would have been to return the GB and put the money towards family counselling.

Mimi's picture

(post #46635, reply #8 of 43)

At first I thought it was another sensational news story, but after reading it all the way through I really hope they get this kid some psychological testing.  There is more going on here than the need to open a present early. 


If, as the mom states, he has been getting away with this sort of thing for years, she needs to attend family counseling with him.  You can't let a child get away with this for years and then suddenly declare "enough". 


If this is a child who does not accept or respect boundaries despite the best efforts of the parents, then the problem needs to be addressed now and not when he is old enough to serve time.


A sad story all around.


mimi


"Every child can learn, just not all on the same day in the same way."
"All that is required for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing."
bustaduke's picture

(post #46635, reply #18 of 43)

I don't get the replies to this post, I mean come on people.

This is a 12 year old kid who clearly has problems and I bet if you had time to spend with this family you would find the parent/parents (if they have two in this family) are doing a bad job raising this kid.

This mother should control her child. Instead of calling the cops, making the police look like bad people to her kid, and wasting tax payer money.

I just love this comment "He's been going through life doing things ... and getting away with it."

I wonder why that is? Sounds like this parent isn't doing what she should do and now that he's out of control she wants the police to take over her job as a parent.

If you're a parent raising a kid, you have an important responsibility to that kid to do the job right. Every kid you are raising faces unique challenges that you need to think about before having a child.

Some people just aren't capable of raising kids and should't have them in the first place. Some people look at kids as a by product from having sex and could care less about raising them once the child is born.

I see this crap almost everyday and these people think they are parents just because they have a kid. It's takes a lot more then having a kid to be a real parent.

I volunteer a lot of my time with trouble kids in my area and one thing that always stands out with them is, the parent/parents aren't involved with raising them nor do they care about these kids and this is why most turn out the way they do.

It's funny that by spending just a little time with these kids you can change the way they look at life and the way they act. Most troubled kids have no parents helping them to make the right choices.

busta

"It ain't da seafood dat makes ya fat anyway -- it's da batta!"

"It ain't da seafood dat makes ya fat anyway -- it's da batta!"

Napie's picture

(post #46635, reply #20 of 43)

As a good fried used to say, “Having children does not impress me, they are made by unskilled labor every day, being a good parent however is the most impressive task on the planet”

Biscuit's picture

(post #46635, reply #28 of 43)

I don't agree with you - that it's always a case of bad parenting.


I am uncomfortable going into details, so forgive the general-ness of this.  I grew up with a child who (a) was very smart, (b) had no ADHD, etc. problems (c) got more attention than I did, (d) was taken to therapy, doctors, psychiatrists, etc., and (e) lived with other kids who were prettty darn well behaved.


THIS particular person was the child from Hell.  And that is the understatement of the century.  Her windows had to be NAILED shut - from the OUTSIDE!  She was wild, disrespectful, showed no respect for others or authority in any form, and just seemed absolutely determined to do everything she could to destroy my parents lives and her own - and take the rest of us down with her if she could.  She lied, she stole, she tantrumed, she ran away, she was defiant.


Tell me - how did my parents manage to raise several well-behaved normal children, and this one be Satan?  Were they bad parents?  Terrible parents?  We were all treated the same, same rules, same everything.  So what did my parents do wrong, please tell me?????  (and I say that facetiously, because my parents did NOTHING wrong!)


They even let her stay in jail and go through the system when she was finally - inevitably - arrested, hoping it would put some sense into her.  It did not.  In the meantime, the rest of us had to suffer through her antics and the chaos she created.


So - I don't have much sympathy for this kid.  And your contention that it's all the parents fault for being bad parents is not true 100% of the time.  I believe it's true a lot of the time - but you can't just say such a thing with 100% accuracy all of the time - because sometimes, kids are just horrible because they are horrible, not because they have bad parents.  And in a case like the one cited, WE just don't know, so why not give the mother the benefit of the doubt that maybe this IS the final resort for her???


Mama, I'm just a factory of love!  Know why?  Because no matter how much love I make and give you, I'm always making more!  That's what a factory does, so I'm a Factory of Love! - Max

"When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty."  - George Bernard Shaw

AnnL's picture

(post #46635, reply #29 of 43)

Well said. 


AnnL
Transitions Farm
Gardening, cooking, and riding
in Central Mass.

Ann
"The elders were wise.  They knew that man's heart, away from nature, becomes hard; they knew that lack of respect for growing, living things, soon led to lack of respect for humans, too."  Chief Luther Standing Bear, Lakota Sioux

ashleyd's picture

(post #46635, reply #30 of 43)

As ever there is no general "diagnosis". Sometimes it's bad parenting, sometimes there is a real condition and sometimes it's using a handy label for kids who just wilfully misbehave - if some are naturally "angels" some are exactly the reverse. Let us not forget that this wasn't just a case of opening presents early (who didn't try that?) but of breaking into his great-grandmother's house and going through her stuff, personal or otherwise. That's not curiosity, that's violation. That kid needs something but without knowing more about it I'd hesitate to say what that was.


Always take a good look at what you're about to eat. It's not so important to know what it is, but it's critical to know what it was.

Age is unimportant unless you’re a cheese.