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graduation gift

pamilyn's picture

Hey, what is the appropriate ammount of money to give to a friends kid who is graduating from High School? On the way to University. I do not know her daughter really well. TIA, Pamilyn

The purpose of Art is washing the dust of daily life off our souls

The purpose of Art is washing the dust of daily life off our souls

LuciaK's picture

(post #52416, reply #1 of 32)

Sometimes I do gift cards instead of cash. Here's my scale:


1. pretty good friend, kid wouldn't know me, may or may not get a thank you, $25.


2. really good friend, kid says hello to me, better get a thank you, $50.


3. very close friend, kid is my friend, better get a thank you and a hug and name their first child after me, $100.


Minivan Mom. Fueled by Caffeine.


www.acookandherbooks.blogspot.com

Minivan Mom. Fueled by Caffeine.

www.acookandherbooks.blogspot.com

SallyBR1's picture

(post #52416, reply #8 of 32)

NAME THEIR FIRST CHILD AFTER ME

(Oh, that made me laugh so hard, I almost spilled my precious capuccino over the keyboard!!!!!)

 


 


The garbage disposal is your friend. Treat it nicely.


(A little pearl of wisdom, February 2009)

LuciaK's picture

(post #52416, reply #12 of 32)

There's an idea to make someone else rich -- a splatter screen for the computer. I can see it in "As Seen of TV" stores nationwide.


I should clarify my scale. Only once have my DH and I gone as high as $100 for a high school graduation gift. It was for a hard working young man of limited resources headed for college, who happened to do some work for us. That same year, the son of some very close, longtime friends graduated. This young man, who to this day probably would not say hello to me in public, got $50. I'm still waiting for the thank you note.


Minivan Mom. Fueled by Caffeine.


www.acookandherbooks.blogspot.com

Minivan Mom. Fueled by Caffeine.

www.acookandherbooks.blogspot.com

msm-s's picture

(post #52416, reply #2 of 32)

Lots of variables to consider, including your lifestyle and income.
My ex used to hand out $100. routinely, even though that was way beyond our means when you multiply it by 3 or 5 grads per yr. I believe it was a matter of pride, and certainly it was appreciated, but depending on the relationship I don't think it's necessary to go above $50 if it's cash, and less if you do a gift certificate somewhere (why does it seem more polite to do gc?)
I tend to give $25 gc.s to Target.

Jean's picture

(post #52416, reply #3 of 32)

I had that problem with my nephew's 4 kids.  sigh. They each in turn got a sweatshirt from their chosen college--  But even that is not exactly cheap nowadays.

I have to rant here a tiny bit. People treat graduation from HS like it's going to be the highest point of their life.  Lordy, I hope not. The money spent on parties and proms astonishes me, but I guess I'm a fuddy-duddy and a tight-fisted one at that.


Back to your scheduled program.



Sometimes I wonder--why is that Frisbee getting bigger?--and then it hits me.



http://www.thebreastcancersite.com/

A  clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com/
help to provide free mammograms for women in need
wonka's picture

(post #52416, reply #6 of 32)

If you are a fuddy-duddy, then I am too. I think it has gotten way out of hand and I'm not looking forward to the expense when my 3 graduate at the same time.

Canuck's picture

(post #52416, reply #9 of 32)

I have to rant here a tiny bit. People treat graduation from HS like it's going to be the highest point of their life.  Lordy, I hope not. The money spent on parties and proms astonishes me, but I guess I'm a fuddy-duddy and a tight-fisted one at that.>


ITA. Glad to hear that from someone else. DD#3 is graduating grade 6 this year. Some of the parents seem to think this is a huge achievement. As the kids say, "As if." I pointed out to DD that I expect a lot more from her than being a grade 6 grad :)

SallyBR1's picture

(post #52416, reply #10 of 32)

fuddy duddy

gotta google that one. It has a lot of charm.

 


 


The garbage disposal is your friend. Treat it nicely.


(A little pearl of wisdom, February 2009)

wonka's picture

(post #52416, reply #11 of 32)

Here the kids move up to High School after grade 7. I became part of the committee to plan the celebration for the kids because I wanted to keep it low keyed. The year before they had a formal dance (with ridiculously expensive dresses) and a boat cruise. WTF! That didn't happen the year my kids moved on. A simple ceremony, a luncheon and a DJ in the gym is what we settled on. Thankfully the majority of the parents felt the same as I did. Keep it simple.

Quilter's picture

(post #52416, reply #13 of 32)

One of my co-workers has a daughter 'graduating' from grade 7 this year and will go on to the Jr. High in September.  No big deal over the graduation, but you should hear the carry on about the Prom!  Apparently, some of the girls will be wearing - wait for it - strapless dresses and high heeled sandals.  On a 12 year old frame?  The mind boggles.


The co-worker's daughter is showing no sign yet of breasts, or a female shape, and thankfully, her dress will be totally age and shape appropriate.  As will her shoes - they didn't have a choice, she only wears a size 1.


Edited to add that I'm probably just an old fuddy duddy. 


Edited 5/23/2009 12:34 pm ET by Quilter

SallyBR1's picture

(post #52416, reply #14 of 32)

Just thought of something - what do you guys think, giving the girl a copy of "The Omnivore's Dilemma" would be appropriate?

I do think that book should be mandatory read for any person leaving high school

 


 


The garbage disposal is your friend. Treat it nicely.


(A little pearl of wisdom, February 2009)

msm-s's picture

(post #52416, reply #15 of 32)

I think it's great! Hardly anyone gives personal gifts anymore.
I keep thinking I'll give Dr. Suess's "Oh, The Places You'll Go", but I keep chickening out and doing the Target GC. I wish somebody had given it to me in my formative years; I may have been encouraged to not be so fearful of failure. My folks are of the don't-even-try-since-you-might-not-make-it train of thought. Sigh.

SallyBR1's picture

(post #52416, reply #16 of 32)

Ok, here is the snag - her parents are both very overweight, her brother is obese (if you can believe it, he did not go to college mainly because he is ashamed of the way he looks - he is just 20 years old)

do you think that giving a book related to food and nutrition will be tacky?

 


 


The garbage disposal is your friend. Treat it nicely.


(A little pearl of wisdom, February 2009)

msm-s's picture

(post #52416, reply #17 of 32)

Hmmmm. Not tacky, but that's definitely a delicate situation.

If it were me, I'd give her the standard Target GC and maybe mail her a copy of the book later, after she's settled in to college. then it won't be a part of the official graduation loot and won't get the attention from her family. That would also make it easier to give a used copy, bought for less $$, presented as a casual thought-you'd -like-this. It sounds like a thoughtful and valuable gift, given her family environment.


Edited 5/23/2009 2:05 pm ET by msm-s

dorcast's picture

(post #52416, reply #18 of 32)

I think you have great intentions, but most girls that age that I know, would not be excited about this as a gift. And, reading further about her family, it really might not be right.

Maybe you can give her a gift card to Barnes & Noble or Amazon with a couple of suggestions of books that have impacted you, including Omnivore's Dilemma.

msm-s's picture

(post #52416, reply #19 of 32)

re my advice, I'm assuming that Sally knows the girl well enough to see that she would appreciate this gift. May not be as exciting as a C note, but it sounds like it could be a life-altering experience for her.

SallyBR1's picture

(post #52416, reply #20 of 32)

Actually, I don't know her well at all. When she was here, she barely said a word, seemed bored and uninterested in what was going on.

So I think it is better not to get the book.

 


 


The garbage disposal is your friend. Treat it nicely.


(A little pearl of wisdom, February 2009)

msm-s's picture

(post #52416, reply #21 of 32)

Oh...
TGFT (Thank God For Target)

nutcakes's picture

(post #52416, reply #23 of 32)

Sometimes young people here don't know how to act.. I wish that you realized how embarassed and uncomfortable some people can be, especially ones that don't have good influences.

Jean's picture

(post #52416, reply #22 of 32)

Oh my -- our 12 yr old GD looks more like 17. It's downright scary!  It must be the vitamins. At least she's covered up when she comes here.


Sometimes I wonder--why is that Frisbee getting bigger?--and then it hits me.



http://www.thebreastcancersite.com/

A  clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com/
help to provide free mammograms for women in need
nutcakes's picture

(post #52416, reply #24 of 32)

Some say it is the hormones in the milk. There have  been some studies.

Gary's picture

(post #52416, reply #25 of 32)

I couldn't find any human studies in the National Library of Medicine (PubMed). If you have any references, I'd be interested. Thanks.

The people who gave us golf and called it a game are the same people who gave us bag pipes and called it music and haggis and called it food.

Gretchen's picture

(post #52416, reply #26 of 32)

I don't know if Nutcakes is referring to precocious puberty or not. There are lots of "hints" but as you say, maybe no studies. Here is one of many, some more scientific than others.


http://www.oasisadvancedwellness.com/learning/precocious-puberty.html


Gretchen
Gretchen
Gary's picture

(post #52416, reply #27 of 32)

Thanks for the link, but as a scientist and a physician I find articles such as those akin to the Sunday comics. They are pushing a viewpoint without any evidence.

The people who gave us golf and called it a game are the same people who gave us bag pipes and called it music and haggis and called it food.

Gretchen's picture

(post #52416, reply #29 of 32)

I TOTALLY agree with you. Supposition, assumption, because of this, that, etc.

Gretchen

Gretchen
Jean's picture

(post #52416, reply #28 of 32)

Not a big milk drinker--I'm afraid we can't blame that.


Sometimes I wonder--why is that Frisbee getting bigger?--and then it hits me.



http://www.thebreastcancersite.com/

A  clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com/
help to provide free mammograms for women in need
madnoodle's picture

(post #52416, reply #30 of 32)

Size 1 feet?  I think my kids had bigger feet than that when they were born.  By contrast, I just bought size 10s for my 11 yo DD.

What if there were no hypothetical questions?


 

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

 

Gretchen's picture

(post #52416, reply #31 of 32)

Maybe "dress"?  LOL


Our kids used to have bigger feet than their baby sitter of the time though. They were all under 10 years old.


Gretchen
Gretchen
madnoodle's picture

(post #52416, reply #32 of 32)

My kids can carry our babysitter around.  She's the tiniest little thing.  Great kid.

What if there were no hypothetical questions?


 

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

 

Gretchen's picture

(post #52416, reply #4 of 32)

$25 is PLENTY if you really like your friend and are close. I think less is OK too if you aren't that close.

Gretchen

Gretchen