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trying for a baby

jaq's picture

So DH and I are trying hormone tx for pregnancy for the first time this month. I've taken my Clomid, had a Follistim injection on Monday (didn't like how that made me feel) and got an HCG shot today. I'm feeling generally out of sorts and not very hopeful.
I have a congenital condition that required lots of abdominal surgery as a child, and I think my problem is not hormones, but the fact that I have scar tissue getting in my egg's way. An HSG revealed that my tubes are clear, but that doesn't mean an egg can find them. So I kind of feel like these hormones are throwing my body into high gear unnecessarily, and I don't like the feeling much.
Has anyone else been here?

Syrah's picture

No, we're still at the practising stage and aren't up to dress rehearsal.

I do have some dear friends who are going through what sounds similar. It's quite devastating for them, but they did have their first baby 2 years ago and he is a treasure. They are going through it again now.

I'm sure there must be online support forums - perhaps your Dr. can advise.

I really just wanted to tell you that you have my thoughts.

My perseverance will be rewarded.

"Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and, above all, confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something, and that this thing, at whatever cost, must be obtained." -Marie Curie

msm-s's picture

Well. I had DS, my only child, at 45. I did fertility testing, and it was highly unpleasant. the results came back that I had a chemical in my brain signaling my repro organs not to do what they were supposed to... the official report we got in writing was that it was not only astronomically unlikely for me to conceive naturally, but that it was highly unlikely for me to benefit from invitro and other extreme measures.
6 months later I had morning sickness and DS was born healthy the following year,

Seriously, I think the key may have been that we gave up trying. we cried hard in the parking lot of the fertility clinic, but we let go of the dream of having children. Just like all the stories you hear about people conceiving AFTER they give up and adopt, it seems that the secret is relaxing.

Best wishes for you and your dream!

Jillsifer's picture

I haven't been there, but I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Sending very best wishes.




It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious.

Christmas is the season for kindling the fire of hospitality in the hall, the genial flame of charity in the heart.

-- Washington Irving

jaq's picture

Thank you guys, all, for your thoughts and encouragement. I think I just needed to vent. Will hope for the best! And after all, there are a lot of options if you want a child.

AnnL's picture

A coworker went through fertility treatment to conceive her first and second children.  It took about 4 years to conceive the first, then 3 years to conceive the second.  They were going to stop there, since the treatments really took a toll on her, but surprise, surprise, 8 months after delivering her second child, she was pregnant with her third.  :-) 

So, it does help.   It was really hard on both her and her husband.  He felt like he had to "perform on demand" whenever she was ovulating.  Her body and psyche went through he%% with the hormones and drugs.  But, in the end it was worth it.  I hope the same for you.

"The elders were wise.  They knew that man's heart, away from nature, becomes hard; they knew that lack of respect for growing, living things, soon led to lack of respect for humans, too."  Chief Luther Standing Bear, Lakota Sioux

"The elders were wise.  They knew that man's heart, away from nature, becomes hard; they knew that lack of respect for growing, living things, soon led to lack of respect for humans, too."  Chief Luther Standing Bear, Lakota Sioux

Syrah's picture

Venting is more than okay.

This isn't a time when a lot of babies are given up for adoption, so I think it feels more limiting than ever if nature doesn't play along. My DH was one the last babies lucky enough to be adopted out of a "famous" for that Sydney hospital in 1975. There were only 10 that year.

My perseverance will be rewarded.

"Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and, above all, confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something, and that this thing, at whatever cost, must be obtained." -Marie Curie

BossHog's picture

Don't have anything particularly helpful to add - Just wanted to say that I hope you get the baby that you want.

Would somebody please poke holes in the top of my jar?

Gretchen's picture

Not appropriate to you but DGS is an in vitro baby (all from his own parents), and there was a lot of prep work that his mother had to do that was demanding and somewhat unpleasant.  I think I could say without reservation that that little boy is worth anything anyone had to do to get him here.   ;o)


Canuck's picture

My thoughts are with you. I know it's a tough process.

LuciaK's picture

Been kinda there and it totally stinks. After a series of early miscarriages, I took lots and lots of Clomid to get pregnant & had my daughter 10 years ago. We tried again after I stopped nursing her, and to my doctor's surprise, I didn't get pregnant. We decided not to do anything beyond Clomid & just embrace the blessing we had. Seven years later, (at age 40) I got pregnant on my own & now have a second daughter.

All I can remember from the endless cycles of hormones is that I was crazy, cranky and emotional. I had a friend at the time who I think of as my "infertility buddy" and she guided me through the process - she had been through the same thing. She was totally terrific, since all the other girls around me apparently got pregnant just by thinking about it. (the Mommy Club, btw, can be a cruel, exclusive group).

The good news is that there are so many medical (and adoption) options now. I think how frustrating it must have been for women of my mom's generation who wanted children and it just didn't happen.

My two pieces of advice are: If you're not already with a fertility specialist, or reproductive endocrinologist, run don't walk, to the best you can find. Do not waste your time with a run-of-the-mill ob/gyn. The second piece of advice has already been given & I'll echo it: find a support group or a buddy to talk you through it.

And when you're feeling completely overwhelmed by hormones, chocolate helps. In any form. Hope this helps!


Minivan Mom. Fueled by Caffeine.

Minivan Mom. Fueled by Caffeine.

jaq's picture

:) Chocolate always helps. That rule works for just about anything.

peteshlagor's picture

Been there?  Yeah.

Be prepared for the comments like:

To him: "Get off her back!"  Or, "Need a stand-in?"

To her:  "Better put more men on the job."  Or, "I'll save you some money."

Or such events like the staff walking in on your husband while he's attempting to "harvest" his boys.

It kills your desire and emotions.

Remember, it may seem like the end of the world, but it's not.  But start here:

And then check to see if there is a local chapter.  Sitting thru these meeting with other people going thru the same things will take huge loads off your mind.  They'll give you hints, sugestions, which doc's to avoid or use, etc.

Seriously, my DW and I were having some real issues over the subject.  Someone will always be the brunt of the blame.  Deal with this support group.  They'll help keep things in perspective. 

wonka's picture

I was on clomid for 2 rounds before I became pregnant. 50mg was not enough, 100mg did the trick. Of course, it worked overtime, and I now have 13 year triplets.

teebee's picture

I have been where you are. It is awful, and unless you have been through it, you just don't understand. We tried clomid for a while (it gave me hot flashes at age 27), then one round of IVF. DH refused to go through another round (we both had issues, he had some surgery), so we decided to adopt. We recieved our daughter about 8 months after the failed IVF (she was a day old). Three and a half years later, our son came to us when he was 6 months old (his birthmother was 15, and if you can remember back, when you are 15 you think that you can do anything, until you try it; she tried for a while). We had wonderful experiences with our children's birthmothers, and still keep in touch on occasion through the adoption agency. DS and DBIL also had issues, but now have 12 year old triplets (two girls and a boy). My kids are now 9 and 12.

I wish you all the best--it's not easy. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask.

CANDILADY's picture

I have been there. We could not get pregnant and I was pushing 40. Did Clomid, HCG etc. with AI and got pregnant the first round!!! The doctor told us we only had a 4% chance of conceiving because of my age and was gently pushing us to use donor eggs. My other problem was my follicle count was very low even for my age bracket. We were able to have a second baby without additional help 2 years later, she just turned 1 month. I need to post some pictures.

Be positive and take care of yourself and I know this is hard but try not to stress about it.

Sending positive thoughts and prayers your way.


Edited 3/13/2009 3:01 pm by CANDILADY

Heather's picture

Best of luck to you! I haven't had personal experience with any of this but I know that it is emotionally and physically painful. Finding someone to talk to who has gone through it is great advice--and feel free to vent here as much as you need.

jmapatterson's picture

It's been a long long time since I've been in your shoes, but it seems like yesterday.  Our only daughter is now a college freshman and came to us through adoption.  We did everything from clomid to donor egg with no success, both while trying to have our first child and then trying after we adopted our daughter.  Through the almost seven years of on/off again treatment, I became a member, group leader and later chair of the national board of an organization called RESOLVE (  I found through the whole process, that the more knowledge you have makes you feel more empowered and connecting with peers and professionals #many who themselves have been through this) is wonderful.  You can connect with them at information sessions, support groups etc. . . and it doesn't matter whether you just sit and listen and leave, or stay and meet, chat, etc.  Everyone is very respectful of where you are at and your comfort/privacy level.  It is very reassuring to know that others are having the same experience/symptoms/issues as others--that your feelings about the situation are "normal".  I have very very dear friends we made in these groups who are still close today, more than 25 years later.

As I mentioned we started with clomid, one of the first line drugs used for infertility treatment. And even though I went on to many, many ART cycles with much stronger drugs, I had the worst side effects with Clomid, something that I think you will hear from a lot of people.  Clomid is a great drug--but don't let your doctor keep you on it forever.  Time is never on the side of an infertility patient, and if clomid doesn't work after three or so cycles (especially if your regular ob/gyn is prescribing) you need to move on and see a Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE) who has additional training in the field.  Even though I've since relocated, my RE is still my first line resource when I faced other health issues, most recently breast cancer-but as of April, I am a five year survivor-yeah!

My thoughts are with you. . . and don't be hesitant to ask lots and lots of questions and also to start thinking of other ways to build a family.  The only regret I have about adoption is that I did not "know" my daughter for nine months during pregnancy.  But if I had given birth, it would not have been the daughter I have today, and I can't imagine being the mom to any other child.  I will keep you in my prayers.

jaq's picture

Thank you all for the kind words and support! I will definitely look into Resolve. I don't know anyone dealing with this, and feel awkward talking to others about it. Mostly I don't like the way the drugs make me feel- I feel like I'm getting on DH's nerves, even though he's been absolutely great, and I feel tired and cranky all the time. But I've been through worse stuff and feel confident that the situation will resolve the way it is meant to happen, whatever that may be.

helena1's picture

I got pregnant on my second round of Clomid,  so there are dfeinately succes stories! I perfectly understand how you feel, fertility treatment comes with a rollercoaster of emotions. I was tired, cranky and nauseous on the Clomid as well, as those drugs can definately play a number on you. I just wanted to offer my hugs and my well wishes for a wish to come true very soon. 

FL.Cook's picture

My DDIL also had scar tissue from childhood surgery, and she could not conceive,  They went the route of In Vitro, and have two beautiful little boys.  They were lucky, as it worked the first time for the first one,        in between a miss, but on the next try the second little boy.  Wishing you the best of luck!!